I'm kind of at a point in my life where I'm just over people. Maybe I'm too young for that to be the case already, maybe I'm just someone with a short fuse, or maybe I just live in the wrong area. Whatever the reason, I can't seem to wrap my mind around how self-absorbed most people are. I spent most of my life in Plymouth Meeting, PA, which I absolutely loved. When I was little, I always thought I lived in this tiny little town where everyone knew everybody. That wasn't necessarily the case. All the neighbors knew each other and all the kids that went to school together knew each other. That was far from the whole town, though. And as I got older, the town got more commercialized and more populated and people seemed to get ruder and ruder. Or maybe, I just got more skeptical and less innocent. I now live about seven miles outside of Plymouth Meeting, which is far from being on the other side of the world, but at first, it was far enough. When I first moved here, people seemed nicer. I distinctly remember two different people holding the door open for me in the same restaurant and telling my parents how it was strange that I didn't know how to react to people being so nice. My mother seemed to agree that people were nicer "up here." And now, when we go back to Plymouth Meeting, it's equal parts hilarious and unsettling to hear the obscenities that come out of my mother's mouth. It almost feels more like a city there than the tiny town I thought I grew up in. Driving through it is a nightmare and the traffic alone fuels my rage. I always blamed it on the fact that it was a nicer area and there were some people that were pretty well-off and were out of touch with reality, but it seems to be an epidemic.
This past weekend, my husband and I took a trip to Baltimore, Maryland. Our trip started out a few miles outside of Baltimore and we did sort of notice that the people seemed nicer. We weren't as annoyed with people, but we could just chalk that up to the fact that we were somewhere different and on vacation. Quickly upon entering the actual city, though, we immediately felt "at home." We're not city people, so driving through Baltimore alone was a nuisance. But, the first night wasn't too bad; mostly because all we did was sleep in our hotel room. The next day was a different story. We took a trip to the inner harbor, where neither of us has ever been (at least that we can remember). We'd heard how much there was to do and how much fun everything was, so we were excited to get started.
Our first stop was the Baltimore Aquarium, somewhere I'd always wanted to go, since I'd heard so much about it. Immediately upon arrival, a busload of children were let out...a field trip. Typical. This would not have been such a big deal if it didn't seem like everyone else in the world was at this aquarium on that particular day. Which seemed strange, since it was a Monday and most kids were still in school. But, it seems like no one cares anymore about other people. No one cared that we were at that exhibit first or that I was trying to take a picture. No one cares that there are a hundred other people waiting to see the exhibit behind them. They're taking their time, seemingly intentionally forming a roadblock in front of the exhibit so no one else can get by. They're shouting to their family members to come check it out and see how cool it is. They're taking dozens of pictures of the same creatures. What gives? Can't I see it? I paid a lot of money to come here, as well as you. Do I get a turn? We ended up skipping much of the aquarium, because the crowds got too annoying, the lines got too long and the patrons got too rude. At one point, I tried to take a picture of my husband standing next to a giant shark's mouth, because I thought it was cool how big it was. I took one picture and the flash didn't go off, so I tried to take another one. He was uncomfortable, though since there were people behind me waiting to look at it and he put the kibosh on the picture. That's kind of how it should be, but I was instantly annoyed with him that he didn't give me my chance to be rude. People had been pushing and shoving me and making me wait all day and I can't get ten seconds to take a picture? How is that fair?
So, we quickly realized that the inner harbor is still too "city" for us, but made the best of it anyway. It was nice to get away from home, even just for a short time and it was cool to see something different for a change. We came home Monday night and went out to dinner Tuesday night in our hometown-Plymouth Meeting. Maybe it's because we were back there, or maybe it's just because it's typical, but we left there angry as well. We walked into the restaurant and stood at the podium waiting to be seated. There was one person in front of us, who was seated quickly and then the hostess never returned. We waited roughly ten minutes, as it was obvious that the girl was new and learning the ropes; we were patient. Suddenly, a woman walks in the door at the exact instant that someone finally returns to the podium, walks right past us, says "booth for two" and gets seated immediately. My husband and I instantly look at each other and say in perfect unison "that just happened." We weren't even out of the way! We were standing just inside the door, directly in front of the podium. It was obvious we were waiting to be seated. We were more than a little angry and complained about it all through dinner. By this point we were fed up with being ignored. Were we invisible to everyone but each other? What goes through someone's mind before they do something like that? Why does everyone seem to think they rule the world and they can do whatever they want? When did other peoples' feelings stop mattering?
I wish I could say that this was true mostly of strangers, but I see it constantly in my own family as well. It's more difficult when you're married to make time for everyone. Every holiday needs to be split two ways and since my parents are divorced, ours need to be split three ways. Christmas needs to include my mom & step-dad, my dad and my in-laws. Same with Thanksgiving and Easter. Mother's Day and Father's Day. Birthdays, anniversaries. No one seems to care that there's another side of the family to deal with. No one seems to care that there are other people to consider. Work it into your schedule or forever feel guilty. And it takes away the fun of all of it. It takes away the joy of seeing family and being together. It turns into an obligation and a punishment instead of a nice family get together. Don't get me wrong; I love my family. But, sometimes I wish it was just my husband and I and on one else. Sometimes I wish we could just run away without telling anyone where we're going. I'd love to own a secluded mountain house someday where I can runaway and spend my weekends with a fire and a good book. My heart skips a beat just thinking about it. But, I'm not like everyone else. I can't just put the feelings of everyone else aside to focus on my own feelings. Where does that come from, since it's obvious that's not true for anyone else. How did we end up to be such nice people when we're surrounded by such selfishness? And where can we go to get away from it?
I just told my husband tonight that being a writer is the perfect career for me. Just me and my computer and no one else. The only other people that exist are the characters I make up in whatever story I'm working on. It's a career for recluses and that's exactly what I'd like to be. I don't like to be around people. And it's not at all because I'm anti-social. It's because people don't make themselves someone that other people want to be around. And that's kind of a bummer to me...
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