Today I'm having one of those days where I just don't really like myself. For the most part, I'm pretty thick-skinned. I have to be. But, I'm sure it's no secret that my sarcasm and my "bite me" attitude, at times, is my defense. I have days of unbearable guilt, though and I can't stand it. I'm sure we can all say that we were just a nightmare from ages twelve until about twenty, right? It's just part of growing up and hormones and rebellion...all part of finding yourself. My mom and I had some pretty nasty fights back in the day. The best ones were when we would go clothes shopping. Naturally, I hated just about everything I tried on. It either didn't fit or I just didn't like the way it looked. Typical girl. She always tried to get me to buy the clothes that "everyone else is wearing." Hands down, that's got to be the most annoying thing for me to hear. I'm pretty sure that's where my "I do what I want and if you don't like it, don't talk to me" attitude started. I can't stand being told that I should wear or do or be something just because it's what everyone else is doing. It's infuriating...and incredibly frustrating, especially when you're trying to figure out exactly who YOU are. My mom still likes to bring these fights up...often. She apparently thinks it's funny now that it's in the past. I guess it is...but we had one fight about ten years ago...the fight to end all fights. It was bad and it was ugly and I believe it ended (or started...?) with me screaming from the dressing room "YOUR OPINION DOESN'T MATTER!!!!!" I just couldn't get her to understand that it didn't matter if SHE liked the outfit...it mattered if I liked it. Afterall, I was the one that had to wear it. In any case, the shopping trip was over after that and I rarely wore the outfit we were fighting about (mostly because it reminded me of that awful fight). She didn't talk to me for days after that, even sending someone else to pick me up from band practice or from work. We ended up emailing each other about it (how modern) and I cried...a lot...and felt terrible. It's definitely one of those moments in my life I desperately wish I could erase. And without fail, every single time it's brought up, I lose it. I remember the anger I felt at the time and I remember the embarrassment my mother felt. I wish I was the kind of person that could let things go. I dwell on things for YEARS. I had to take this stupid test for a job once and the results showed that I apparently lack empathy. The person in charge of the testing was surprised...others were not. I find it comical, because it's the perfect example of how misunderstood I am. Yeah, I know...everyone says that, but I actually had someone say to me recently "you always say you're misunderstood and I'm starting to realize that you really are." I have certain views and certain opinions that make it SEEM like I lack empathy, but I absolutely do not. There are two major moments in my life where I remember seriously upsetting someone else (above story being one of them) and every single time either one of them enters my mind for even a moment, the tears start flowing. I can't handle the pain I caused this other person. It kills me. But, as soon as the stories are brought up, the defenses go up and I appear un-empathetic. I want to say I wish we could all move past it, but it seems like I'm the only one that hasn't. It was so many years ago and others are laughing about it, but it kills me every time. What is wrong with me? And then I start to feel stupid, because I get the whole "Oh, I was just messing with you, it's funny NOW!" excuse and I feel like I'm overreacting. What the hell?
I like to think I have a good sense of humor, especially about myself, so why can't I take THIS joke? Clearly, my mother is over it...
Ugh! I can't even keep a train of thought on this one. I'm all over the place. It's frustrating to actually know who you are and have the rest of the world see someone different. I don't want to be all emo, "no one understands me," because I'm sure I'm partially to blame for it. Maybe it's my delivery, or my willingness to share my thoughts...but I really do cry at the drop of a hat. The elderly absolutely break my heart. I remember working at BJ's and every time an older person would come through my check-out line alone, I'd make up some story in my head about why they were alone. It was always some horribly sad story about their husband or wife dying after fifty years together and they're on their first grocery shopping trip alone. It's usually old men, because, for some stereotypical reason, I assume they're much more lost without their significant others than women are. And children get me too. It almost pains me to see a child and not give them a hug. I'm the creepy lady that always smiles at children and tries to get babies to laugh. They just break me...and if I could afford it, I'd have a houseful of my own, I'd open myself up to adoption and foster children (which I'm sure I wouldn't be able to handle). I feel bad for other people every single day, but it's not the "right" people, I guess, so it doesn't count.
Part of the problem is that I don't let everyone see that. I bawled my eyes out during the movie "Up." I watched it with Ryan thinking I was watching this happy Disney movie and I bawled from beginning to end...saddest movie I've ever seen in my life. But, I DIDN'T cry during "Marley & Me." I dislike dogs and the one in that movie made me angry and annoyed me...but, really I think Owen Wilson's dreadful acting ruined the whole thing for me. The point is that, if I had been watching either of those with my family, I probably would have either left the room or turned it off. But, since I was with Ryan the tears flowed easily and shamelessly. I don't cry in front of my family...or any of my friends really. Ryan is the only one that gets 100% all the time. I'm not really sure why that is. I'm not sure where that fear of letting it all hang out comes from, but I definitely have my guard up around everyone else. It's not that I lack empathy...it's that I act on impulse, let the feelings stew and dwell on the pain for years. I'm sure this is immensely unhealthy, but I like to think it's that guilt that keeps me on my toes. It prevents me from making the same mistakes twice. I wouldn't be able to handle hurting someone like that again. It would literally kill me. I guess the moral of the story is that while I'm not very good at acting "like a girl," the emotions of one definitely run deep. Or, maybe I'm just crazy.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Thursday, July 7, 2011
A Lesson in Feminism
I'm so tired of men thinking they know what women want! And I'm tired of the bad reputation feminists get. The truth is, people don't actually understand feminism...a lot of self-proclamined feminists don't even know what they think they stand for. I took a feminist poetry class in college and I remember that suddenly Ryan couldn't do anything right! He made me promise never to take a feminism class again. Unfortunately, when it came to my last semester, I needed to fill a credit with a "pointless" class and the easiest one I could find was another feminism class. This one was very different though and I loved it!! It was a three-hour lecture, but I went excitedly every single day and I couldn't wait to talk all about it with Ryan afterward! Even he eventually admitted that it wasn't what he had expected. It's a common misconception that feminits believe in women's rights...false. They believe in equal rights. Let me explain:
If you tell a man you're a feminist they think you expect them to hold the door open for you, pull out your chair, pay for every meal or date you go on, etc. WRONG!! It's exactly the opposite. And to be honest, I hadn't realized I was a feminist until I took that class. I don't expect Ryan to do any of that. In fact, on our honeymoon I told him that when I saw a man pull out a chair for his girlfriend/wife, I sometimes thought "that would be nice," but then I instantly changed to "I'm glad Ryan doesn't do that. It seems controlling and a little bit awkward." I legitimately feel like he would just be in my way. I can pull out my own chair and I can certainly open my own door. Now, before you get all huffy and ranting and raving about how "chivalrous" it is, let me tell you where this "chivalry" started. It came about in the days when women had no rights. Men opened doors and pulled out chairs for women, because it was believed that women were physically incapable of doing it themselves. It was not chivalry at all. It was controlling and demeaning. And frankly...it still is. Think about it. How fair is it to expect your man to do all these things for you that you're not willing to do for him? Would you ever open the door for him or pull out his chair? Would you ever pay for your meal or your date? I told Ryan on our very first date that I hated being paid for. That changed and loosened over time, because it made him feel better when I let him pay. But, over the years, he didn't always have enough money to take me out, and since it was something I still wanted to do, I gladly paid for both. I see absolutely nothing wrong with that and frankly, a man should be happy to have an independent woman who doesn't need him.
Someone said to me once that men don't marry women anymore because we don't expect anything from them anymore. I wholeheartedly disagree with that. We expect less from men, which, I feel, takes the pressure off of them. I know Ryan waited so long, because there were things we wanted to do before we got married. We wanted to be established in our careers, we wanted to own a house, pay off some bills, etc. We wanted to be financially stable as individuals before we could build a life together. Women are more independent now, thankfully!!! They don't need men anymore. Maybe that makes men feel intimidated. I don't really know, but if that's the case it's silly. A relationship should be 100% equal (I won't get started on stay-at-home moms because I know many, who are GREAT people, but I will say this...especially in our economy, I find it selfish and I think it puts way too much pressure on the working parent...God forbid something happen to them or their job...then what?). When women expect something from their man that they're not willing to do for him, it irks me on a level I cannot even begin to describe. I have many times gotten out of the car and ran around to open Ryan's door...usually when he has his hands full or he's carrying something for me. I have held the door open for him numerous times and I've already mentioned that I often pay for meals or other outings (which doesn't matter anymore, since we now share an account). That's how it should be. It's not about women's rights, it's about it being equal.
I was talking with someone else about a friend of theirs who is going through a divorce after only a year and a half. This person believed that the reason was because nothing changed after they got married...umm...wrong!! I'm sure there are numerous reasons, but not changing after marriage is ridiculous. She married who she married knowing who he was. If she expected him to change, then the mistake was hers. People asked me all the time what I expected to change when we got married...back in the days when I so desperately begged for it to happen. The answer was nothing. I didn't expect anything to change. I didn't want anything to change! Why should it? If Ryan suddenly started opening doors for me and pulling out my chair I'd probably ask him what the hell he was doing and what he wanted. (I almost clumped planning romantic dinners in there too, but that would be awesome...never going to happen, though and I'm okay with that!!). I'm not sure why people expect things to change so drastically after marriage...unless, of course, they don't already live together. I 100% believe couples should live together before they get married. Ryan and I were together seven years before we moved in together and there were still things I didn't know about him. You never truly know someone until you've lived with them. And I read a statistic somewhere that said couples that live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced. This is probably true...however it doesn't mean what it implies. It implies that people get divorced because they lived together first. Again...wrong. It's pretty simple and it all basically comes back to religion. Generally, people that wait until after marriage to live together are either religious or pretty conservative (or both). This means, they are 100% against divorce, under any circumstances. People that live together first are the opposite. Now, I'm not saying that divorce is always the answer and it certainly is not something I'd like to imagine for me & Ryan, BUT it just means the rules aren't as strict for them. If Ryan cheated on me or did something unforgivable, I would absolutely divorce him. If our marriage just wasn't happy anymore and I found myself upset more often than I was happy, I would divorce him (if counseling didn't work, of course). I would rather die than be unhappy. I refuse to stay in an unhappy marriage. In my opinion, the more conservative people would suck it up and pretend to be happy, because it's against their religion to divorce, just as it's against their religion to live together before marriage. I hope I explained that well enough.
Ryan and I are always honest and always equal. There are no divided chores (although I do most of the cooking, simply because I'm home from work first)...he does the dishes, I take out the trash, but we'll switch if it's more convenient. While other couples would flip out at the mention of another man or woman, we joke about it and have fun with it. It's not uncommon for Ryan to tell me how attractive another girl is and what it is about her that makes her so attractive...and he often suggests I try it. It's also not uncommon for me to tell him that I "want to rip (another guy's) pants off." It's honest and it's real and it means absolutely nothing. On the very rare occasion, it does bother me and I've felt that pang of jealousy once or twice, but it really doesn't happen often and it throws us both off when it does. We both know that at the end of the day, we come home to each other. No matter how hot that other guy or girl is, it doesn't matter, because we chose each other and we chose each other for a reason. I know he loves me unconditionally and in the best way that he can and he knows the same is true for me with him. I laugh at our relationship often, because I always feel that from an outsiders' perspective it seems dysfuntional. But, I truly believe it's extremely healthy. There's no secrets, there's no hurt feelings...there are occasionaly misunderstandings when one of us is in a silly mood and the other one is not, but they're smoothed over quickly and we're right back to laughing. If your wife asks if she looks fat in an outfit, tell her the truth! She'll probably be mad at you for a minute (or a few hours...or days), but I know I'd rather know if I looked awful than go out looking awful! I can't comprehend why that's a big deal. Don't ask the question if you don't want the truth!!
I'm sure there's always going to be those differences that will never quite be accepted for the opposite sex and there are definitely obvious physical differences, but if we stop taking everything so seriously, it will stop being so serious! There will always be racists and there will always be misogynists, and in both cases some of the sterotypes are definitely true, but if we stop putting so much emphasis on them, we can eliminate the meaning behind them. Maybe men & women will never make the same salaries and we'll never be able to use the same bathrooms (I'm okay with that one), but if we can at least start treating each other as we expect to be treated, we're headed in the right direction.
If you tell a man you're a feminist they think you expect them to hold the door open for you, pull out your chair, pay for every meal or date you go on, etc. WRONG!! It's exactly the opposite. And to be honest, I hadn't realized I was a feminist until I took that class. I don't expect Ryan to do any of that. In fact, on our honeymoon I told him that when I saw a man pull out a chair for his girlfriend/wife, I sometimes thought "that would be nice," but then I instantly changed to "I'm glad Ryan doesn't do that. It seems controlling and a little bit awkward." I legitimately feel like he would just be in my way. I can pull out my own chair and I can certainly open my own door. Now, before you get all huffy and ranting and raving about how "chivalrous" it is, let me tell you where this "chivalry" started. It came about in the days when women had no rights. Men opened doors and pulled out chairs for women, because it was believed that women were physically incapable of doing it themselves. It was not chivalry at all. It was controlling and demeaning. And frankly...it still is. Think about it. How fair is it to expect your man to do all these things for you that you're not willing to do for him? Would you ever open the door for him or pull out his chair? Would you ever pay for your meal or your date? I told Ryan on our very first date that I hated being paid for. That changed and loosened over time, because it made him feel better when I let him pay. But, over the years, he didn't always have enough money to take me out, and since it was something I still wanted to do, I gladly paid for both. I see absolutely nothing wrong with that and frankly, a man should be happy to have an independent woman who doesn't need him.
Someone said to me once that men don't marry women anymore because we don't expect anything from them anymore. I wholeheartedly disagree with that. We expect less from men, which, I feel, takes the pressure off of them. I know Ryan waited so long, because there were things we wanted to do before we got married. We wanted to be established in our careers, we wanted to own a house, pay off some bills, etc. We wanted to be financially stable as individuals before we could build a life together. Women are more independent now, thankfully!!! They don't need men anymore. Maybe that makes men feel intimidated. I don't really know, but if that's the case it's silly. A relationship should be 100% equal (I won't get started on stay-at-home moms because I know many, who are GREAT people, but I will say this...especially in our economy, I find it selfish and I think it puts way too much pressure on the working parent...God forbid something happen to them or their job...then what?). When women expect something from their man that they're not willing to do for him, it irks me on a level I cannot even begin to describe. I have many times gotten out of the car and ran around to open Ryan's door...usually when he has his hands full or he's carrying something for me. I have held the door open for him numerous times and I've already mentioned that I often pay for meals or other outings (which doesn't matter anymore, since we now share an account). That's how it should be. It's not about women's rights, it's about it being equal.
I was talking with someone else about a friend of theirs who is going through a divorce after only a year and a half. This person believed that the reason was because nothing changed after they got married...umm...wrong!! I'm sure there are numerous reasons, but not changing after marriage is ridiculous. She married who she married knowing who he was. If she expected him to change, then the mistake was hers. People asked me all the time what I expected to change when we got married...back in the days when I so desperately begged for it to happen. The answer was nothing. I didn't expect anything to change. I didn't want anything to change! Why should it? If Ryan suddenly started opening doors for me and pulling out my chair I'd probably ask him what the hell he was doing and what he wanted. (I almost clumped planning romantic dinners in there too, but that would be awesome...never going to happen, though and I'm okay with that!!). I'm not sure why people expect things to change so drastically after marriage...unless, of course, they don't already live together. I 100% believe couples should live together before they get married. Ryan and I were together seven years before we moved in together and there were still things I didn't know about him. You never truly know someone until you've lived with them. And I read a statistic somewhere that said couples that live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced. This is probably true...however it doesn't mean what it implies. It implies that people get divorced because they lived together first. Again...wrong. It's pretty simple and it all basically comes back to religion. Generally, people that wait until after marriage to live together are either religious or pretty conservative (or both). This means, they are 100% against divorce, under any circumstances. People that live together first are the opposite. Now, I'm not saying that divorce is always the answer and it certainly is not something I'd like to imagine for me & Ryan, BUT it just means the rules aren't as strict for them. If Ryan cheated on me or did something unforgivable, I would absolutely divorce him. If our marriage just wasn't happy anymore and I found myself upset more often than I was happy, I would divorce him (if counseling didn't work, of course). I would rather die than be unhappy. I refuse to stay in an unhappy marriage. In my opinion, the more conservative people would suck it up and pretend to be happy, because it's against their religion to divorce, just as it's against their religion to live together before marriage. I hope I explained that well enough.
Ryan and I are always honest and always equal. There are no divided chores (although I do most of the cooking, simply because I'm home from work first)...he does the dishes, I take out the trash, but we'll switch if it's more convenient. While other couples would flip out at the mention of another man or woman, we joke about it and have fun with it. It's not uncommon for Ryan to tell me how attractive another girl is and what it is about her that makes her so attractive...and he often suggests I try it. It's also not uncommon for me to tell him that I "want to rip (another guy's) pants off." It's honest and it's real and it means absolutely nothing. On the very rare occasion, it does bother me and I've felt that pang of jealousy once or twice, but it really doesn't happen often and it throws us both off when it does. We both know that at the end of the day, we come home to each other. No matter how hot that other guy or girl is, it doesn't matter, because we chose each other and we chose each other for a reason. I know he loves me unconditionally and in the best way that he can and he knows the same is true for me with him. I laugh at our relationship often, because I always feel that from an outsiders' perspective it seems dysfuntional. But, I truly believe it's extremely healthy. There's no secrets, there's no hurt feelings...there are occasionaly misunderstandings when one of us is in a silly mood and the other one is not, but they're smoothed over quickly and we're right back to laughing. If your wife asks if she looks fat in an outfit, tell her the truth! She'll probably be mad at you for a minute (or a few hours...or days), but I know I'd rather know if I looked awful than go out looking awful! I can't comprehend why that's a big deal. Don't ask the question if you don't want the truth!!
I'm sure there's always going to be those differences that will never quite be accepted for the opposite sex and there are definitely obvious physical differences, but if we stop taking everything so seriously, it will stop being so serious! There will always be racists and there will always be misogynists, and in both cases some of the sterotypes are definitely true, but if we stop putting so much emphasis on them, we can eliminate the meaning behind them. Maybe men & women will never make the same salaries and we'll never be able to use the same bathrooms (I'm okay with that one), but if we can at least start treating each other as we expect to be treated, we're headed in the right direction.
Montego Bay-Days 7 & 8
There's not much to tell after Saturday, so I've condensed it into one post. Sunday was our last full day and I was bummed out, but we were taking it easy. We started off with the breakfast buffet, as always and then headed back to the private island. We wanted to see what it looked like in the daytime without the rain. There wasn't much to do there, but it's very pretty. Ryan ordered a drink and we played with the parrot, "Diana" who liked when you whistled "Pop Goes the Weasel" or sang "You Are My Sunshine."
After that, we just walked around scoping out the island, checking out views and seeing what we could see. Luckily, we were warned that the back side of the island was "clothing optional," so we made sure to steer clear!
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We finally decided to take a dip in one of the resort's many hot tubs after that, but we didn't stay long. The hot water seriously irritated my bug bites and it was obvious we were just trying to kill some time. We headed back to our room after that and ordered room service for dinner.
The day before I couldn't wait to go home and sleep in my own bed and eat American food, but by Sunday I was pretty bummed out. It was our last night there. We packed after dinner, then walked around a little bit looking for David & Lo again so we could say good-bye (they were leaving the next day too). We finally ran into them and exchanged email addresses and last names to find each other on Facebook and we took a great picture of the four of us!
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We hung out at our room that night with Zack & Robin having drinks outside and being bummed out about leaving. Robin told us a cute story about her & Zack's one year anniversary and tried to implant some romanticism into Ryan (I'm pretty sure it didn't work) and then we called it a night.
Monday was pretty boring. Our flight wasn't until 5:15, but checkout was at 11. Neither one of us slept well Sunday night, because our butler phone was beeping through the night letting us know it was dying. We didn't want to turn it off in case they tried to call us in the morning for check-out. It died shortly after we woke up anway, so a lot of good that did...We ate breakfast, got a couple of drinks at the bar and waited until 10:30, when Calvin was supposed to come get our bags. He didn't show up and we assumed (correctly) that it was because he couldn't get a hold of us. So, we went straight to the concierge office to check out anyway and left our bags in the room. They called Calvin to come get our bags and the waiting began...it was still only 11am by that point and our bus to the airport wasn't arriving until 2:15. We had packed our bathing suits, so we couldn't swim or hit the beach and we were in our traveling clothes (which were jeans), so we were insanely hot. We hung out in the lobby for a while until the lunch buffet opened at 12:30 (it seriously felt like we just killed time until the next meal all week). Of course, we were the first ones in line and I ended up being much hungrier than I thought I was. We played another game of chess after that where Ryan kicked my butt (I barely put up a fight this time) and it was only 1:30 by then. 45 more minutes to kill!! We went back to the lobby and luckily, Zack & Robin were there waiting for the bus for their flight home, so we hung out with them for a little bit. After they left, we were concerned that we hadn't seen Hector in a few days, because we hadn't had a chance to give him his tip. Ryan told concierge and they called him for us. He showed up at 2:15 almost on the dot and Calvin was right behind him. It was the first time we saw them both together...and I'm still angry I didn't get a picture!!! Our bus showed up a minute later and Hector loaded us on and we were off. The ride was about fifteen minutes with a stop at the Montego Bay resort to drop people off. We found out the American dollar is worth $84 Jamaican dollars-YIKES!
At the airport, we waited in line for a while, but still had plenty of time to kill. The guy across from us was eating cheesy bread from Domino's and it smelled soooo good! I hate Domino's a lot, but it was so nice to see pizza!!!! After I complained that Ryan was listening to his music and ignoring me, we walked around the airport until we found out where the Domino's had come from. So, we ordered our own cheesy bread and Ryan got some pizza and then I found a store that sold magazines (finally!!!) and word searches. Some entertainment for the flight!!! There was a lot of turbulence on the flight, which bummed me out, because I actually kind of enjoy flying. I had been nervous this time around, because I had never flown out of the country before, so my nerves were already on alert. At one point, the turbulence was so bad, I literally felt the plane drop probably a hundred feet and I almost had a heart attack! I was getting a little nauseous, which was unusual for me, but I had faith in our pilot and I was glad that child wasn't next to us again! I was in the middle this time, so there wasn't much I could do, but Ryan was great holding my hand and letting me rest my head on his shoulder. I spent most of the flight doing the word searches I had just bought. I remember there being a Kit Kat bar in our in flight meal and we both instantly noticed that it looked different. It was Nestle...It's probably bad that I knew instantly that Kit Kats are Hershey's and not Nestle, but we got a good laugh out of it!
We called his parents as soon as we landed and waited a while at baggage claim and then waited even longer outside for them to come get us. While we waited, I was using my phone to check Facebook and I finally got to see some great wedding pictures our friends had posted while we were away! When we finally got back to his parents' house, he got a phone call from his sister, Jill telling us that she had just gotten engaged on Friday!! How exciting!!! We had an amazing wedding, a great honeymoon and came home to fabulous news, but we were happy to finally be home!!
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| Diana |
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| Some random island statue |
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| Ryan drinking his drink in front of a bar that wasn't open yet |
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| CRAB!!! |
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| Our resort from the island |
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| The Thai restaurant that we ate at earlier in the week |
After we came back from the island we spent some time in our private pool for a while and then ventured back over to the main pool. There was a game of "battle of the sexes" going on and we played while hanging out with David & Lo (the guys won). We took a break for lunch, then met them back on the beach where they played beach volleyball. After the fish incident earlier in the week, I refused to go back in the water, so poor Ryan swam around by himself and I watched David & Lo play volleyball. On the way back to our room, we played a game of giant chess, where Ryan beat me. I started off strong (got his queen right away!!), but he beat me in the end.
We finally decided to take a dip in one of the resort's many hot tubs after that, but we didn't stay long. The hot water seriously irritated my bug bites and it was obvious we were just trying to kill some time. We headed back to our room after that and ordered room service for dinner.
The day before I couldn't wait to go home and sleep in my own bed and eat American food, but by Sunday I was pretty bummed out. It was our last night there. We packed after dinner, then walked around a little bit looking for David & Lo again so we could say good-bye (they were leaving the next day too). We finally ran into them and exchanged email addresses and last names to find each other on Facebook and we took a great picture of the four of us!
We hung out at our room that night with Zack & Robin having drinks outside and being bummed out about leaving. Robin told us a cute story about her & Zack's one year anniversary and tried to implant some romanticism into Ryan (I'm pretty sure it didn't work) and then we called it a night.
Monday was pretty boring. Our flight wasn't until 5:15, but checkout was at 11. Neither one of us slept well Sunday night, because our butler phone was beeping through the night letting us know it was dying. We didn't want to turn it off in case they tried to call us in the morning for check-out. It died shortly after we woke up anway, so a lot of good that did...We ate breakfast, got a couple of drinks at the bar and waited until 10:30, when Calvin was supposed to come get our bags. He didn't show up and we assumed (correctly) that it was because he couldn't get a hold of us. So, we went straight to the concierge office to check out anyway and left our bags in the room. They called Calvin to come get our bags and the waiting began...it was still only 11am by that point and our bus to the airport wasn't arriving until 2:15. We had packed our bathing suits, so we couldn't swim or hit the beach and we were in our traveling clothes (which were jeans), so we were insanely hot. We hung out in the lobby for a while until the lunch buffet opened at 12:30 (it seriously felt like we just killed time until the next meal all week). Of course, we were the first ones in line and I ended up being much hungrier than I thought I was. We played another game of chess after that where Ryan kicked my butt (I barely put up a fight this time) and it was only 1:30 by then. 45 more minutes to kill!! We went back to the lobby and luckily, Zack & Robin were there waiting for the bus for their flight home, so we hung out with them for a little bit. After they left, we were concerned that we hadn't seen Hector in a few days, because we hadn't had a chance to give him his tip. Ryan told concierge and they called him for us. He showed up at 2:15 almost on the dot and Calvin was right behind him. It was the first time we saw them both together...and I'm still angry I didn't get a picture!!! Our bus showed up a minute later and Hector loaded us on and we were off. The ride was about fifteen minutes with a stop at the Montego Bay resort to drop people off. We found out the American dollar is worth $84 Jamaican dollars-YIKES!
At the airport, we waited in line for a while, but still had plenty of time to kill. The guy across from us was eating cheesy bread from Domino's and it smelled soooo good! I hate Domino's a lot, but it was so nice to see pizza!!!! After I complained that Ryan was listening to his music and ignoring me, we walked around the airport until we found out where the Domino's had come from. So, we ordered our own cheesy bread and Ryan got some pizza and then I found a store that sold magazines (finally!!!) and word searches. Some entertainment for the flight!!! There was a lot of turbulence on the flight, which bummed me out, because I actually kind of enjoy flying. I had been nervous this time around, because I had never flown out of the country before, so my nerves were already on alert. At one point, the turbulence was so bad, I literally felt the plane drop probably a hundred feet and I almost had a heart attack! I was getting a little nauseous, which was unusual for me, but I had faith in our pilot and I was glad that child wasn't next to us again! I was in the middle this time, so there wasn't much I could do, but Ryan was great holding my hand and letting me rest my head on his shoulder. I spent most of the flight doing the word searches I had just bought. I remember there being a Kit Kat bar in our in flight meal and we both instantly noticed that it looked different. It was Nestle...It's probably bad that I knew instantly that Kit Kats are Hershey's and not Nestle, but we got a good laugh out of it!
We called his parents as soon as we landed and waited a while at baggage claim and then waited even longer outside for them to come get us. While we waited, I was using my phone to check Facebook and I finally got to see some great wedding pictures our friends had posted while we were away! When we finally got back to his parents' house, he got a phone call from his sister, Jill telling us that she had just gotten engaged on Friday!! How exciting!!! We had an amazing wedding, a great honeymoon and came home to fabulous news, but we were happy to finally be home!!
Friday, July 1, 2011
Montego Bay-Days 5 & 6
Friday was a lazy day for us. We slept in until 9:30 (I never thought I would refer to 9:30 as "sleeping in"), then hit the breakfast buffet, as always. Ryan decided he wanted to be near a bar, so we went to the main pool, which I hated, because it was dirty and harder to relax, since there was always so much going on there. Luckily, I convinced him to bring his drink back to our pool and we relaxed there until our couple's massage (which our butlers set up for us the day before). Neither one of us had ever had a massage before and we both desperately needed it. It was hard for me to relax, though, because the blanket was pulled a little tight around my neck and I have issues with things getting too close to my neck....Overall, it was great, though. We ordered room service after that (mozzarella sticks and chocolate cake for me and a bacon cheeseburger for Ryan). I was frustrated that day also, because I felt like my legs were still as white as when we got there!! No matter how much time I spent outside, they just weren't getting tan! Ryan had also decided that day that we weren't going on any more excursions, because the people trying to sell stuff were too annoying for him (because he can't just learn to say no...). I was annoyed and a little disappointed, but glad that we might actually come home with some money in our pockets!
There was a craft fair on the resort that day (which was basically just more of the peddlars trying to sell you stuff) and I went to check it out by myself. As soon as they see you coming, they're out of their seats and trying to sell you stuff!! It's crazy!! I scoped out some things, then came back to get Ryan, who was very hesitant to come with me. He didn't want to leave the resort anymore for this very reason and now I was dragging him along! I told him to just keep his mouth shut because I already knew what I wanted and how much I was willing to pay for it. I got to practice my bargaining skills for real this time! I managed to get two pieces of jewelry and a magnet made from a coconut for $26! The magnet was actually funny, because I offered him $7 and then realized I only had $6. I felt a little bad, but he gave it to me anyway (not without huffing and puffing) and probably STILL made a hefty profit! After that we spent a lot of time inside watching TV, which was when we both admitted that we kind of wanted to go home. I was tired of the bug bites and the sunburn and not being able to eat what I want, when I want. There was definitely not a shortage of food, but I wanted a bag of Doritos and a Dr. Pepper sooooo bad!! The massage therapist had told me that the oils they used should keep the bugs away, but it definitely had the opposite effect and I was eaten alive again!! By that point, I had over 25 bug bites that I could count. On top of that, I had decided not to lotion my legs anymore in an attempt to get them tan...and above my knees ended up burning and below the knees barely got any color at all. I was convinced I'd be the first person to come home from a week in Jamaica without a tan!!
We finally decided to walk around for a little bit and went to the beach-side buffet. They had a nice spread of all kinds of food, some displayed on a kayak! They had a guy chopping coconuts with a bottle of rum next to him to make your own drinks. People were drinking them right out of the coconut! We didn't get one, but we should have...I actually found that I liked the buffet food better than the restaurant food, which I thought was odd. At this buffet, there was a contortionist, then a guy who danced on nails, then blew fire. My camera was annoying me, because it doesn't take very good pictures in the dark, so I couldn't really get any good ones. David & Lo sat with us through dinner (after they realized they were sitting at the table next to us), so it was nice to hang out with them again.
Sadly, that night was probably the latest we actually stayed out during the whole trip...about 9pm.
Saturday was not the best day for us. I woke up in a horrible mood!! How anyone could wake up in a bad mood in paradise is beyond me, but if anyone could find a way, it's me!! I guess it was the old "too much of a good thing" deal. If I got one more bug bite, I was ready to jump off a bridge. I was tired of itching, tired of using tampons (hate them! TMI, I know...sorry) and tired of not being able to use my car, which I thought I would enjoy...I hated that nothing was spur of the moment and you needed to plan everything out. I was tired of having the same food to choose from everyday and wearing dirty clothes (totally didn't pack enough) and bathing suits. I had a dream the night before that we were home and it made me homesick. We had such a difficult time deciding on a honeymoon, because Ryan wanted just a beach and I wanted somewhere where there was stuff to do and see. Jamaica was a good compromise. But, Ryan didn't want to do any more excursions at that point, because it was too much of a hassle and I was crazy bored with the pool and the ocean. I was definitely ready to come home by then. I was tired of only being served water or something alcoholic. I was tired of fat girls who think they can wear bikinis (it actually says that in my journal...again...horrible person...).
We had asked Hector the night before the reserve us two spots on the beach for the morning. They were in the usual spot, under the tree where the tide breaks. This next part is actually a little funny looking back, but it seriously ruined my day (and essentially the rests of the trip). I have ALWAYS been competely freaked out by sea life. All week, I had been painfully aware of the tiny fish swimming in the shallow part of the ocean. I watched my step walking in, making sure they weren't anywhere near me. Once you were out far enough, they either weren't there or I didn't notice, so I was good to go. We were having a good time, just relaxing in the water and I kept feeling something brushing my leg. I assumed it was a leaf from one of the trees on the beach and I ignored it. But, it wouldn't go away!! So, I finally looked down to swat it away and there was a big black fish swimming between my legs. I literally screamed and jumped up and wrapped my legs around Ryan's waist. Apparently I screamed pretty loud, because the whole beach laughed at me, but I really didn't care. I was incredibly skeeved and traumatized. Ryan is still convinced I imagined it, but I'd swear on my life it was a fish!! Naturally, we were done in the ocean after that (at least I was). We were just sitting on our beach chairs and I was trying to compose myself for a few minutes and Ryan got up and dipped back in the water for a second before coming back and asking if I wanted to go to the pool. On the way back to the pool, he told me his little dip back in the water was to wash off the bird poop that just landed on him! What a horrible morning!!
Not much happend after that. We went back to our pool for a little bit, then hit the lunch buffet (which we ddin't even know existed until Thursday) and then spent a couple hours watching TV. We spent a fortune on souvenirs, then back to watching TV. I kept thinking how I couldn't wait to go home, but the I went out onto the patio with my journal and the fabulous view and amazing weather and I wanted to stay forever. If only I could have bottled it up and took it with me. Out of everything we did while we were there, my favorite was just sitting and relaxing and enjoying the weather. I'm a simple girl.
The peacock got way too friendly for my comfort level. It kept wandering onto our porch while we were outside. At one point, we got scared and went inside and the jumped up on my chair and was checking out the stuff we left on the table. Then it was drinking out of our pool. Hector told us they're fine as long as you let them come to you, but if they feel backed into a corner, they will attack. I didn't take any chances and kept my distance.
That night, we went to the Italian restaurant at the Montego Bay resort (we were at Royal Caribbean) for dinner. It was good, but the French still held the first prize. The bus back to our resort didn't leave for two hours after we finished our dinner, so we had a lot of time to kill. The resort was a lot bigger than ours, so we walked around for a while. Some aspects of it were nicer than ours, but none of the rooms seemed to have a very good view. You could tell that it was geard towards partiers, by the set-up (a huge bar as soon as you walk in) and the general atmosphere and people. It was directly across the street from the airport, which really freaked me out. While we were eating dinner, a plane took off and it creeped out to see it that close to us. But, while we were outside waiting for the bus back, another one took off and we literally saw it racing down the runway. No doubt we picked the right resort!!
There was a craft fair on the resort that day (which was basically just more of the peddlars trying to sell you stuff) and I went to check it out by myself. As soon as they see you coming, they're out of their seats and trying to sell you stuff!! It's crazy!! I scoped out some things, then came back to get Ryan, who was very hesitant to come with me. He didn't want to leave the resort anymore for this very reason and now I was dragging him along! I told him to just keep his mouth shut because I already knew what I wanted and how much I was willing to pay for it. I got to practice my bargaining skills for real this time! I managed to get two pieces of jewelry and a magnet made from a coconut for $26! The magnet was actually funny, because I offered him $7 and then realized I only had $6. I felt a little bad, but he gave it to me anyway (not without huffing and puffing) and probably STILL made a hefty profit! After that we spent a lot of time inside watching TV, which was when we both admitted that we kind of wanted to go home. I was tired of the bug bites and the sunburn and not being able to eat what I want, when I want. There was definitely not a shortage of food, but I wanted a bag of Doritos and a Dr. Pepper sooooo bad!! The massage therapist had told me that the oils they used should keep the bugs away, but it definitely had the opposite effect and I was eaten alive again!! By that point, I had over 25 bug bites that I could count. On top of that, I had decided not to lotion my legs anymore in an attempt to get them tan...and above my knees ended up burning and below the knees barely got any color at all. I was convinced I'd be the first person to come home from a week in Jamaica without a tan!!
We finally decided to walk around for a little bit and went to the beach-side buffet. They had a nice spread of all kinds of food, some displayed on a kayak! They had a guy chopping coconuts with a bottle of rum next to him to make your own drinks. People were drinking them right out of the coconut! We didn't get one, but we should have...I actually found that I liked the buffet food better than the restaurant food, which I thought was odd. At this buffet, there was a contortionist, then a guy who danced on nails, then blew fire. My camera was annoying me, because it doesn't take very good pictures in the dark, so I couldn't really get any good ones. David & Lo sat with us through dinner (after they realized they were sitting at the table next to us), so it was nice to hang out with them again.
Sadly, that night was probably the latest we actually stayed out during the whole trip...about 9pm.
Saturday was not the best day for us. I woke up in a horrible mood!! How anyone could wake up in a bad mood in paradise is beyond me, but if anyone could find a way, it's me!! I guess it was the old "too much of a good thing" deal. If I got one more bug bite, I was ready to jump off a bridge. I was tired of itching, tired of using tampons (hate them! TMI, I know...sorry) and tired of not being able to use my car, which I thought I would enjoy...I hated that nothing was spur of the moment and you needed to plan everything out. I was tired of having the same food to choose from everyday and wearing dirty clothes (totally didn't pack enough) and bathing suits. I had a dream the night before that we were home and it made me homesick. We had such a difficult time deciding on a honeymoon, because Ryan wanted just a beach and I wanted somewhere where there was stuff to do and see. Jamaica was a good compromise. But, Ryan didn't want to do any more excursions at that point, because it was too much of a hassle and I was crazy bored with the pool and the ocean. I was definitely ready to come home by then. I was tired of only being served water or something alcoholic. I was tired of fat girls who think they can wear bikinis (it actually says that in my journal...again...horrible person...).
We had asked Hector the night before the reserve us two spots on the beach for the morning. They were in the usual spot, under the tree where the tide breaks. This next part is actually a little funny looking back, but it seriously ruined my day (and essentially the rests of the trip). I have ALWAYS been competely freaked out by sea life. All week, I had been painfully aware of the tiny fish swimming in the shallow part of the ocean. I watched my step walking in, making sure they weren't anywhere near me. Once you were out far enough, they either weren't there or I didn't notice, so I was good to go. We were having a good time, just relaxing in the water and I kept feeling something brushing my leg. I assumed it was a leaf from one of the trees on the beach and I ignored it. But, it wouldn't go away!! So, I finally looked down to swat it away and there was a big black fish swimming between my legs. I literally screamed and jumped up and wrapped my legs around Ryan's waist. Apparently I screamed pretty loud, because the whole beach laughed at me, but I really didn't care. I was incredibly skeeved and traumatized. Ryan is still convinced I imagined it, but I'd swear on my life it was a fish!! Naturally, we were done in the ocean after that (at least I was). We were just sitting on our beach chairs and I was trying to compose myself for a few minutes and Ryan got up and dipped back in the water for a second before coming back and asking if I wanted to go to the pool. On the way back to the pool, he told me his little dip back in the water was to wash off the bird poop that just landed on him! What a horrible morning!!
Not much happend after that. We went back to our pool for a little bit, then hit the lunch buffet (which we ddin't even know existed until Thursday) and then spent a couple hours watching TV. We spent a fortune on souvenirs, then back to watching TV. I kept thinking how I couldn't wait to go home, but the I went out onto the patio with my journal and the fabulous view and amazing weather and I wanted to stay forever. If only I could have bottled it up and took it with me. Out of everything we did while we were there, my favorite was just sitting and relaxing and enjoying the weather. I'm a simple girl.
The peacock got way too friendly for my comfort level. It kept wandering onto our porch while we were outside. At one point, we got scared and went inside and the jumped up on my chair and was checking out the stuff we left on the table. Then it was drinking out of our pool. Hector told us they're fine as long as you let them come to you, but if they feel backed into a corner, they will attack. I didn't take any chances and kept my distance.
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| I managed to get this awesome picture before we got TOO scared!! |
Montego Bay-Day 4
Thursday was definitely the most rewarding day for me. I was overcome by the beauty of the island and frustrated with how selfish Americans are. After that day, I no longer wondered why the rest of the world hates America. It was when we went to Dunn's River Falls. The ride there was about an hour and a half, so there was plenty to see on the way. The driver filled us in on the sites and Jamaican heritage. The thing that struck me was that they build their own houses. Intead of having mortgages, they start with a two-bedroom house with a bathroom and a kitchen and as they save more money they add to the house until they have a nice-sized family home. It takes them fifteen years to complete. They appear to live completely off the land and each other (and tourists, of course). David and Lo, by chance were with us that day and I heard the driver tell David that the employment rate is about 60%, because people don't want to work.
When we got to the falls, we were told that if anyone tried to sell us anything to bargain with them and don't be afraid to say no. Climbing the rocks was awesome. I thought I might freak out at first, because they told us we were climbing 900 feet, but you could not really see below you. There were a few stops along the way where the guides took pictures of us:
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| "Holy shit, it's cold!!!" |
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| They told us to use tongue... |
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| This is where they told us to put our arms in the air and fall backwards...they obviously missed the shot, but I think this might be even better!!! |
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| Pink booties aside, this is a great picture!! |
The whole group held hands while we climbed the falls, which was a little weird at first, but it was nice because it forced everyone to look out for each other. It took a few hours to climb to the top and when we finished, the guide asked for a tip (we left our money on the bus, so we lucked out on that one). On the way back to the bus, we got stopped by someone selling souvenirs. We agreed to buy interlocking hearts (actually, Ryan did, but I played along) with our names engraved on them. The price started at $30 and we bargained them down to $20. Then they threw in two other carved figures, one as a "gift" and we were supposed to offer them something for the second one...which we didn't ask for...what??? Then they kept putting necklaces around our necks, which were also expected to pay for. Finally, as we were getting ready to go back to the bus to get money (they follow you back to the bus...) a second guy joins us trying to sell us something else. I honestly believe they could tell Ryan was just miserable at saying no and they latched on...because I did very little talking...Both men walked with us back to the bus and at one point I turned around and the second guy was carving our names into a wooden frog. WTF?? I was beyond pissed that Ryan bought something else and we ended up paying them $40 for all the "gifts" they gave us. So much for bargaining!!!
On the way home, we stopped at Sandals Ocho Rios for lunch. We ate at the buffet with David & Lo and on the way home I somehow managed to be the only person to stay awake. I was definitely exhausted, but I couldn't possibly let such beauty go by without relishing in it. I was so annoyed that I left my camera in the room (I just took the waterproof one...I didn't know we'd be able to leave stuff on the bus...), because I really wanted to get a picture of everyday life in Jamaica. The whole drive was lined with the ocean, but I was overwhelmed by how green everything was! It is virtually untouched. There does not seem to be set neighborhoods or developments and everything appears to be built out of plywood and steel. The houses are small and run-down. There are no malls...just small strips of stores that look almost ignored, with their name or what they sell painted on the side. I even saw a car wash that just had a large wooden sign outside with "car wash" spray painted on it. In the midst of all the forest, were the mountains overhead and the ocean on the horizon. There are dilapidated buildings spotting the roadway and the mountainsides and it's not unusual to see women working the fields beside the men (as it should be!!). Despite the "ghetto" feel, there is still overwhelming beauty. These people do everytrhing themselves and they are still the kindest people I have ever met (when they're not trying to sell you something, of course). It's always "good morning," "you good, man?," "no problem, man!" In America, everything is handed to us. We work in air-conditioned buildings for a pay check every week, so we can buy things we don't need. We can hire people to cook for us, to clean for us, drive us around, even shop for us!! We buy large houses that take us thirty years to pay off-twice the time it takes them the build one the same size-and we spend most of our time indoors, numbing our brains with TV or the internet (guilty!). And we still find reasons to complain and look down on people. Our country might be one of the richest, but we indeed are one of the saddest. We take it all for granted and don't think twice about it. No question we are "ugly Americans."
Despite this revelation, I caught myself being an "ugly American." I complained about the people using our private pool pretty much the entire week. We splurged on the upgrade and people that did NOT pay a fortune for it were taking advantage. Ryan and I admit we're a little too anti-social, or socially awkward, as he likes to call us, but you want privacy, you want privacy. And to have people who didn't pay extra for that privacy invading it, is extremely frustrating.
As soon as we got back from Dunn's River Falls, Calvin showed up with two plates of food-cheese & crackers and finger sandwiches. We hung out by the pool for a little bit, then walked around a little. We explored the gift shop to scope out souvenirs, then came back to the room so Ryan could nap. I sat outside and read a little bit and took pictures of flowers.
As much as I was inspired to write, I was inspired to take pretty pictures. Unfortunately, I didn't notice the "flowers" setting on my camera until later, so these pictures aren't as great as they could have been!
There were three peacocks on the resort (two males, one female) and one walked by often!! He walked by while I was outside and I noticed the hermit crab we had discovered a few days ago crawling around the porch. It was nice to just sit and think for a while, though.
We had reservations at the french restaurant at 7pm that night. The food was actually amazing, which we hadn't expected!! It was definitely our favorite. Ryan had jumbo shrimp (I'm surprised he didn't turn into a shrimp!!) and I had beef tenderloin, which Ryan was obsessed with and wished he had ordered instead. I'll assume we didn't do anything after dinner, because that's where my notes stop, but here's some more pictures...
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| With David & Lo-who makes us both look fat!! |
Montego Bay-Days 2 & 3
I really don't want to do a separate entry for each day, but it's looking like that's how it's gonna be (people get scared by super long posts, so I need to break it up...).
Anyway, we woke up around 8:15 on Tuesday morning. It was the first full night's sleep we got since the wedding and we got almost twelve hours! I didn't sleep as well as I wanted to, because the resort was small and the steel drum band was still playing when we went to bed. The walls were thin, so we could hear people walking past our room and we were so close to the airport you could hear planes flying over head. Nonetheless, we managed our twelve hours, which was desperately needed! I woke up covered in bug bites, which is pretty typical. I forget who it was, but someone told me the mosquitos weren't that bad in Jamaica, so I hadn't bothered to spray the night before. It sounded strange when I heard it and I should have gone with that doubt, because it was obviously a lie! After showering and applying sunblock (and bug spray!), we hit the breakfast buffet again and ate on the deck again. We then went to the beach where some random Jamaican on a surfboard tried to sell us stuff and I started my journal (which is now being turned into this blog). We sat under a tree that took us days to figure out what was growing on it (almonds!!). They kept falling on us (and everyone else!), so we had to be on our toes to make sure we didn't get hit on the head! We ran into David & Lo while we were at the beach, but didn't really hang out. When we got back to our room, Calvin & Hector had been trying to call us (on the cell phone they gave us to contact them all week!). Apparently they had reserved chairs for us at the beach...oops! While we had them on the phone, we had them book us on a glass-bottom boat tour for the afternoon. We got lunch at Mariner's Seaside Grill (the beach-side bar) before we went out (Ryan got a cheeseburger and I had a hot dog). I thought we'd see some turtles on the glass-bottom boat tour and I was really disappointed that we didn't. We saw lots of coral and some sting rays, but the boat scared all the fish away. It was still pretty cool. I was definitely feeling nauseous, which has never happened to me before, so I had to keep looking down.
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This is the view from the deck where we waited for the boat.
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This is a view from the boat...that's the resort that was next to ours.
After the glass-bottom boat tour (which I DID take pictures on, but none of them turned out because the boat was moving too fast), we went back to our private pool. We met our suite neighbors, Zack & Robin, who were from Texas and really cool. They got married on Sunday. I was getting super annoyed at this point, because people that were not in the swim-up suites were using our pool and lounge chairs. There was literally exactly enough for the four rooms that lined the pool, so it was really annoying when "outsiders" used them.
We ordered some room service (shrimp cocktail and caesar salad), which was very good.
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I managed to lock us out of the room at that point and we had to call Hector to come let us back in. We stayed outside for several hours, drinking, reading and listening to music. Then, we came inside and tried out the jacuzzi tub. We got Hector to set up a reservation at the Regency Grill, which served international food and was actually the same place we ate breakfast every morning. This was great, because while everyone was waiting in line to be seated, Hector took us right back to our table (which had a "reserved" sign on it!) and we got served right away! Ryan had the 3-cheese shrimp linguini and I had the grilled/jerk chicken (Jamaica's specialty). Our view was much better than the view during the buffet and we got to see the sunset while we ate. Very nice and very romantic.
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When we got back to the room, Hector was there and told us to come back. We wandered around the resort for about ten minutes until he called us to come back. When we walked in the room, there were flower petals on the bed with "Happy Honeymooners" written in grass pieces and little elephants made from towels. There was also an envelope addressed to the wrong couple (oooops!) inviting us (them?) to some dinner the next night. I'm sure it was for us anyway, but when we told Hector that it was the wrong couple the next morning, he took it back, looking so embarrassed and never said another word about it (I felt bad...I told Ryan not to say anything...).
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Lunch at the beach-side bar.
On our way back to our room, we stopped at the main pool and got some drinks at the bar. They were playing "name that tune," so we stuck around a little bit for that. We weren't very good...When we got back to our room, the bathtub was filled with water (and bubbles!), candles were lit, flower petals were scattered and champagne was chilling next to the tub. Clearly, we had to take advantage of that...
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When we went outside later to hang up wet towels, we found plates of food waiting for us-little finger sandwiches and cheese & crackers. I'll tell ya, I LOVED how much they fed me there!! We ate them while we watched TV. Ryan fell asleep, so I went outside to read. It rained for about a minute, then it stopped and started again about ten minutes later. There was something very calming about sitting outside watching the rain. No one seemed to be bothered by it. Everyone just carried on with their business, some with umbrellas, most without. It started to clear up again and then starter much harder with thunder. We had reservations at the Thai restaurant that night (which is on the private island, that is also part of the resort), but I wasn't sure if we were still going to be able to go. I was glad that we did go and we took the two-three minute ride over to the private island, which was set up in an Asian motif. It was pretty cool, but we didn't get to enjoy it as much as we could have, since it was dark and raining. At one point it was raining so hard and it was so windy, everyone was getting soaked and I honestly thought we were in for a hurricane!! I was diappointed that I didn't get to see much of the island and didn't get to take many pictures, but the food was definitely interesting. Instead of ordering one entree, they gave you a sample of all three appetizers (spring rolls, some sort of chicken and some weird noodles with shrimp), then you chose your soup (chicken or spicy shrimp-we didn't like either one), then a sampler of all four entrees. The entrees were beef stir fry (pretty much the only one I ate), duck, shrimp and curry chicken. Ryan tried the duck, and said it tasted a little like pork. Desert was coconut flan, some lemon jello thing (gross) and something spongey looking-I wish I had paid better attention. HA! I don't even like coconut, but the flan was my favorite and I ate it all! I remember seeing a rainbow on the way over to the island and I was so mad that I couldn't get my camera out in time!! It was the only one we saw while we were there.
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After dinner we hung out in the room watching Mythbusters until the chocolate buffet at 9. I had literally been waiting since Monday night for this chocolate buffet, but I was so full from dinner, I didn't really get to enjoy that much of it!! I had actually said I hoped there wasn't a chocolate fountain, because it would be gross to have so many people dipping food in it. Of course, there WAS a chocolate fountain, but we were like third in line, so it was fine. There wasn't much to dip in it, but Ryan went crazy over the chocolate-covered pineapple (which I still refuse to try, because I love pineapple so much and don't want to ruin it). Overall, the desserts in Jamaica are not as good as the appear to be...
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Anyway, we woke up around 8:15 on Tuesday morning. It was the first full night's sleep we got since the wedding and we got almost twelve hours! I didn't sleep as well as I wanted to, because the resort was small and the steel drum band was still playing when we went to bed. The walls were thin, so we could hear people walking past our room and we were so close to the airport you could hear planes flying over head. Nonetheless, we managed our twelve hours, which was desperately needed! I woke up covered in bug bites, which is pretty typical. I forget who it was, but someone told me the mosquitos weren't that bad in Jamaica, so I hadn't bothered to spray the night before. It sounded strange when I heard it and I should have gone with that doubt, because it was obviously a lie! After showering and applying sunblock (and bug spray!), we hit the breakfast buffet again and ate on the deck again. We then went to the beach where some random Jamaican on a surfboard tried to sell us stuff and I started my journal (which is now being turned into this blog). We sat under a tree that took us days to figure out what was growing on it (almonds!!). They kept falling on us (and everyone else!), so we had to be on our toes to make sure we didn't get hit on the head! We ran into David & Lo while we were at the beach, but didn't really hang out. When we got back to our room, Calvin & Hector had been trying to call us (on the cell phone they gave us to contact them all week!). Apparently they had reserved chairs for us at the beach...oops! While we had them on the phone, we had them book us on a glass-bottom boat tour for the afternoon. We got lunch at Mariner's Seaside Grill (the beach-side bar) before we went out (Ryan got a cheeseburger and I had a hot dog). I thought we'd see some turtles on the glass-bottom boat tour and I was really disappointed that we didn't. We saw lots of coral and some sting rays, but the boat scared all the fish away. It was still pretty cool. I was definitely feeling nauseous, which has never happened to me before, so I had to keep looking down.
After the glass-bottom boat tour (which I DID take pictures on, but none of them turned out because the boat was moving too fast), we went back to our private pool. We met our suite neighbors, Zack & Robin, who were from Texas and really cool. They got married on Sunday. I was getting super annoyed at this point, because people that were not in the swim-up suites were using our pool and lounge chairs. There was literally exactly enough for the four rooms that lined the pool, so it was really annoying when "outsiders" used them.
We ordered some room service (shrimp cocktail and caesar salad), which was very good.
I managed to lock us out of the room at that point and we had to call Hector to come let us back in. We stayed outside for several hours, drinking, reading and listening to music. Then, we came inside and tried out the jacuzzi tub. We got Hector to set up a reservation at the Regency Grill, which served international food and was actually the same place we ate breakfast every morning. This was great, because while everyone was waiting in line to be seated, Hector took us right back to our table (which had a "reserved" sign on it!) and we got served right away! Ryan had the 3-cheese shrimp linguini and I had the grilled/jerk chicken (Jamaica's specialty). Our view was much better than the view during the buffet and we got to see the sunset while we ate. Very nice and very romantic.
When we got back to the room, Hector was there and told us to come back. We wandered around the resort for about ten minutes until he called us to come back. When we walked in the room, there were flower petals on the bed with "Happy Honeymooners" written in grass pieces and little elephants made from towels. There was also an envelope addressed to the wrong couple (oooops!) inviting us (them?) to some dinner the next night. I'm sure it was for us anyway, but when we told Hector that it was the wrong couple the next morning, he took it back, looking so embarrassed and never said another word about it (I felt bad...I told Ryan not to say anything...).
After dinner we went to the resort's center stage to check out the entertainment. It was "Romance Tuesday," so I thought there might be something cute to do, but there was just a lounge singer doing covers. We listened for a little bit, but it made me kind of sleepy, so we came back to the room and watched TV. I fell asleep around 10:30, while thinking that the crickets, "or whatever they are" sounded like a squeaky bed. Ha!! (They were tree frogs, I later found out).
Wednesday-(okay, maybe I'm going to get two days into this entry!)
We started Wednesday off at about 9:15 with breakfast delivered to our room. I think we got a little carried away with all the choices, because we ordered scrambled eggs, bacon, potatoes, cereal, toast, fruit, orange juice and banana bread...most of which we didn't touch! We ate outside on the patio and this was the only morning we got breakfast delivered. We had planned on spending some time indoors that day, because we were already getting a little burnt, but we got a phone call from Hector letting us know they reserved chairs for us on the beach again. So, we went to the beach and found our seats, which were right under the almond tree at the water's edge. We weren't there very long and when we were done we came back to our pool for a few hours. We then had lunch at the beach-side bar again. I had chicken quesadillas (disappointing) and Ryan had a jerk chicken wrap and cajun fries, which he loved!
On our way back to our room, we stopped at the main pool and got some drinks at the bar. They were playing "name that tune," so we stuck around a little bit for that. We weren't very good...When we got back to our room, the bathtub was filled with water (and bubbles!), candles were lit, flower petals were scattered and champagne was chilling next to the tub. Clearly, we had to take advantage of that...
When we went outside later to hang up wet towels, we found plates of food waiting for us-little finger sandwiches and cheese & crackers. I'll tell ya, I LOVED how much they fed me there!! We ate them while we watched TV. Ryan fell asleep, so I went outside to read. It rained for about a minute, then it stopped and started again about ten minutes later. There was something very calming about sitting outside watching the rain. No one seemed to be bothered by it. Everyone just carried on with their business, some with umbrellas, most without. It started to clear up again and then starter much harder with thunder. We had reservations at the Thai restaurant that night (which is on the private island, that is also part of the resort), but I wasn't sure if we were still going to be able to go. I was glad that we did go and we took the two-three minute ride over to the private island, which was set up in an Asian motif. It was pretty cool, but we didn't get to enjoy it as much as we could have, since it was dark and raining. At one point it was raining so hard and it was so windy, everyone was getting soaked and I honestly thought we were in for a hurricane!! I was diappointed that I didn't get to see much of the island and didn't get to take many pictures, but the food was definitely interesting. Instead of ordering one entree, they gave you a sample of all three appetizers (spring rolls, some sort of chicken and some weird noodles with shrimp), then you chose your soup (chicken or spicy shrimp-we didn't like either one), then a sampler of all four entrees. The entrees were beef stir fry (pretty much the only one I ate), duck, shrimp and curry chicken. Ryan tried the duck, and said it tasted a little like pork. Desert was coconut flan, some lemon jello thing (gross) and something spongey looking-I wish I had paid better attention. HA! I don't even like coconut, but the flan was my favorite and I ate it all! I remember seeing a rainbow on the way over to the island and I was so mad that I couldn't get my camera out in time!! It was the only one we saw while we were there.
Montego Bay, Jamaica-Day 1
I know I mentioned in an earlier post how inspired I was to write while on my honeymoon. Unfortunately, most of that inspiration has run out since I've been home. Ideally, I would have liked to post this as soon as I got home, but I've been having some serious computer issues and this is the first time I could really get on for more than an hour or so (here's hoping it doesn't crash while I write this).
Our honeymoon started on Monday, June 13th. Our flight was at 6am, so we were supposed to be at the airport at 4am. Our travel agent told us that ideally, we should be there three hours before the flight, but the airport didn't open until 4am. Awesome. I'm not, by any means, a morning person (I don't even start work until 9:30 or later), so this was hard to swallow for me. In this instance, though, I was cheaper than I was lazy, because a later flight would have cost us more. So, I dealt with it!! Sunday we had spent opening wedding presents and driving to our parents' houses to find all of our stuff that was left there from the wedding. We figured we'd never be able to get up so early to get to the airport, so we thought we'd just take a nap at some point. So at about 9pm we got into bed and slept until about 1am. I had to shower to trick my body into thinking it was morning and then we headed to the in-laws'. They have this silly tradition where they pass a bottle of peppermint schnapps around at all of their weddings, but we didn't do it at ours (mostly because I refused, because it's kind of disgusting, but also because the country club didn't let us). So, at about 2 o'clock in the morning, I was made to take a sip of schnapps. I'm not a drinker and I'd never had it, so it wasn't a pleasant experience for me at all. They got their picture, though and hopefully they were satisfied with their tradition and I never have to do it again. After that, I needed to eat something, so I had some of the leftover hoagies they had from the wedding day that the guys got to eat and we just watched TV for a couple hours. We got to the airport pretty much at 4 on the dot and there were lots of newlyweds. I was wearing my "Just Married" tank top and the girl in front of us had her "Mr. & Mrs." luggage tags. She's the one that eventually cleared up my confusion as to why the flight was two hours there and four hours back (Jamaica is an hour behind...it was actually a THREE hour flight...HA!). While we were waiting to get our boarding passes and check our luggage we saw a woman taking forever to get her bags checked. She had a child in her arms (looked about two years old) that she refused to put down because she was sleeping. I assume her bags weighed too much, because she was taking stuff out of one bag and putting them in another. She was there the whole time we were in line. It was pretty easy to get through security and customs, so we had a little bit of a wait. Ryan got coffee, I posted a picture on Facebook and we saw the woman from the baggage check with the child again, who was wide awake now. We boarded the flight around 5:30 and guess who we were sitting next to??? Ryan and I were supposed to have the window seat and the middle seat and the woman and child were supposed to have the aisle, but when we got on the plane she's sitting at the window seat with the child on her lap and asks us if we mind. Well, yeah...we did, but it was too early to argue, so whatever. Ryan sat in the middle and I got the aisle and she continually asked him if he could help her get her bag off the floor...why didn't you just sit on the end????? Thankfully her and the child both slept from take-off to landing, so Ryan didn't end up in jail. The in-flight meal was a ham & cheese croissant (gross), Sun Chips (yum!) and shortbreak cookies (Ryan's favorite!). It was about a three and a half hour flight, but it definitely felt longer, because I was unprepared (I thought it was only going to be two!). I tried to read some, but I was way too tired, so I eventually tried to sleep a little bit. We got to Montego Bay about 8:30 local time (it was 9:30 at home). The airport was much smaller and easier to get through and everyone was so friendly! They took our bags (then begged for a tip) and then we caught a bus to our resort (and the driver begged for a tip). They're sneaky about their begging, though. "I don't work at the resort, so I don't get paid for this. Think of your driver when you leave." It got pretty annoying and another passenger on the shuttle was pretty vocal about his annoyance. The driver taught us some Jamaican lingo on the way (unfortunately "ya mon" is all I remember...). The drive was a little creepy, as it's a pretty poor country and you can tell how different life is from what you experience on the resort. Everything is run down, but very laid back. The drive to the resort was only about fifteen minutes from the airport, but we didn't get there until about 9 or 9:30 local time after going through the airport and baggage claim, etc. Check-in wasn't supposed to be until 3:00, which seriously bummed me out, because I was exhausted beyond words. But, we checked-in at the concierge office and waited for our butler. Calvin came to get us and took us to the breakfast buffet, which we ended up eating at almost every day. Here is what our view was that first morning:
The first disappointment of the trip was the bacon. Haha! I love me some bacon, but this just wasn't very good. I'm still convinced it wasn't real bacon! After breakfast, we waited about another thirty minutes for Calvin to come get us again. I changed into my bathing suit while we were waiting and Calvin took us to the main pool. He seemed to be fishing for a tip, because he lingered for a little bit after we sat down, but after a while we realized he was just really shy (which seems odd for a butler...) and he didn't seem to know when to leave. Ryan took advantage of the pool-side bar while we were there. We figured out pretty quickly that the main pool is where most of the activity happens. While we were there, an "aquasize" class took place (pool aerobics, basically), then poolside bingo, neither of which we participated in. We did however, play a nice, friendly version of "whose boobs are real?" Ha! We're terrible people sometimes...
Everytime a resort employee walked by it was "good morning!" or "you good?" The friendliness was definitely contagious. For some reason, Ryan joked about how cool it would be to make friends with British people while in Jamaica and we got a good laugh when the people next to us at the pool-side bar were British. We didn't make friends with them, though...I was finally about to fall asleep by the pool when Calvin re-surfaced and told us our room was ready. FINALLY!! I couldn't wait to jump into bed and lay down!! Unfortunately, though, this lead to disappointment #2. We splurged when we booked the honeymoon and paid more than we wanted to to get a "swim-up suite." In the pictures we were shown, there were chairs literally IN the water and you walked out of the pool into your room. Our wasn't like that...apparently there are two different ones. While we DID have our own, private(ish) pool, it did not lead right up to our door. Here's what it did look like:
The suite was smaller than I expected, but big enough. It had a high king-sized bed, a fully stocked, FREE mini-bar, a huge bathroom with a jacuzzi tub and a large shower with a seat. We were finally about to tip Calvin when he mentioned something about not being allowed to accept tips, so we got super confused and still didn't give him one. After we un-packed our bags, we walked around the resort for a little bit to get to know where everything was. We walked along the beach, which was pretty small, but gorgeous. We discovered the beach-side bar, which had a stand where you could serve your own popcorn, nachos, soda and ice cream cones (which I had at least two of a day). I ordered a daiquiri from the bar, but it was too strong for me. Then, we went back to our room, where I attempted to nap before I passed out and Ryan took a dip in the private pool. While I was trying to nap, a random marching band decided it was a good time to play, so the nap never happened:
I remember after that sitting on the bed thinking how hungry I was and literally at that moment, there's a knock at the door and our other butler, Hector was there with cheese & crackers and fruit. The pineapple there is AMAZING!! I ate it at least twice a day everyday and I miss it...:(
Throughout the day, we kept hearing about the pool-side buffet that was supposed to happen at 6:30, so we started getting ready for that. We found out the dress-code was all white, but we didn't pack any and we were afraid we wouldn't be allowed to go. We tried to hide in the back and three other couples ended up joining our table. One was celebrating their tenth wedding anniversary (they were from Texas), another was on their honeymoon (from Indiana-married the same day as us) and the third never introduced themselves. The Indiana couple were David and Lo and we ended up becoming friends with them and hanging out a lot throughout the week. The food was all amazing - the potatoes during dinner and breakfast were my favorite. During dinner, a steel drum band played and we LOVED it!! They were so good and so animated and you could tell they were having a great time! They were so much fun to watch...as well as the man on stilts, who was dancing around the patio area and posing for pictures with people. We left at about 8:15 and went straight to bed.
Out With the Old, In With the Older
One thing I've always struggled with in my life is making friends. I guess that's part of the reason why Facebook and other social networks are so appealing to me. I can be myself and let people know the REAL me and they can decide (and I can see) whether they want to be friends or not. I'm not good at making that first move. I'm incredibly shy, though I doubt anyone that knows me would believe that. Once I'm comfortable and I know we're friends, I'll let my true colors and my true feelings come out. You'll know more about me than you probably ever wanted to. I eat my words a lot...I offend people often...I speak my mind always. I have strong opinions and I'll share them with whoever asks. At times, it DOES leave me feeling a little lonely, because I live by the philosophy that if people don't like what I have to say they just won't talk to me. But, letting my voice be heard is not something I will ever compromise, no matter how many friends it makes me. That being said, at this point in my life, I thought I was done trying to make friends. I assumed that those that made it this far in my life were here to stay. It's amazing what you learn about people as you get older and major life events start happening in your life (and theirs). I've reconnected with an old friend and we picked up right where we left off. It's absolutely amazing and I treasure her now more than I ever did before. In the same breathe, I also lost a friend that's been in my life for a pretty long time. It's hard to know at this point if we ever really WERE friends. Did we ever hang out on a regular basis? No. When I was upset about something, was she the first person I called? No. Did I always have a good time when we hung out? No. Are there good memories? Absolutely. Unfortunately, this is a mistake I've made twice now. I kept certain people in my life because of the memories we shared and the history we had. It wasn't fulfilling or gratifying and I never felt like it was equal. And yet I couldn't bring myself to admit that this person was just not a very good friend. You place some people at certain levels in your life and finding out that they've placed you MUCH lower is pretty hard to swallow... I love having friends with different backgrounds and different philosophies and views on life. It keeps us all a little more rounded and open-minded. It fascinates me to hear other peoples' points of view. I love discussing things like religion and other controversial subjects and sometimes getting a friendly (or not so friendly in some cases) debate going. It bothers me immensely that some people are too close-minded and set in their own ways to ever accept someone with different views.
As I mentioned, I'm not very good at making friends, but I'm good at keeping them. However, I cannot seem to get along with women. Most of the people I hang out with are men, because let's face it, they're just easier to get along with. There's no bullshit with men. They tell it like it is. If you're being a bitch, they'll tell you you're being a bitch. If they think you look fat, they'll tell you you look fat. If they hate your outfit, or your makeup or your haircut, they'll let you know. It amazes me everyday how many women are faking it. They cover their faces with makeup, straighten their hair if it's curly or curl it if it's straight, fake nails, fake boobs, fake eyelashes, wear heels to make them taller, push-up bras to make them bigger, tight clothes to "enhance" they're assets. Can't a woman just be who she really is anymore? I was told once that I was "one of the hottest women" ever because I just don't care. Different people will take that in a different way, but that was a pretty high compliment for me. I remember the days when going to the mall was the best place to meet boys...and my girlfriends would always be so frustrated with me, because they'd spend hours getting ready and I'd go out in my sweats. My excuse was always that if a guy liked me looking like that, they would sure as hell like me looking like them. It appears that approach worked for me. On the RARE occasion that I actually go out, I might wear some heels, and straighten my hair (which is straight already...it just keeps the frizz down). I don't own an ounce of makeup and if I did, I wouldn't know how to use it. I got contacts to make my life easier, not to make myself look better. I get my nails done (never fake ones) as a social act, not to maintain a certain look...and I'll leave the polish on until it all flakes away. I get my eyebrows and my lip waxed, because, well...okay, because I'm self-conscious about that one (I'm allowed to have one!!). But, I'll go months and months between each waxing. I'd rather save the money I would normally spend on all that and spend the time with my husband or reading a good book. (This is where it stopped saving before...I'm gonna have to wing it...) I also remember the days when we all used to fill out those silly email surveys (they can now be taken on Facebook as well). The one question that always stuck out to me was "who has never betrayed you?" Without fail, my "friends" always wrote my name as their answer. And if I remember correctly, I never really could find an answer. So tell me...why is it that I was always YOUR answer, but you could never be mine? Nice guys do, in fact, finish last.
As I mentioned, I'm not very good at making friends, but I'm good at keeping them. However, I cannot seem to get along with women. Most of the people I hang out with are men, because let's face it, they're just easier to get along with. There's no bullshit with men. They tell it like it is. If you're being a bitch, they'll tell you you're being a bitch. If they think you look fat, they'll tell you you look fat. If they hate your outfit, or your makeup or your haircut, they'll let you know. It amazes me everyday how many women are faking it. They cover their faces with makeup, straighten their hair if it's curly or curl it if it's straight, fake nails, fake boobs, fake eyelashes, wear heels to make them taller, push-up bras to make them bigger, tight clothes to "enhance" they're assets. Can't a woman just be who she really is anymore? I was told once that I was "one of the hottest women" ever because I just don't care. Different people will take that in a different way, but that was a pretty high compliment for me. I remember the days when going to the mall was the best place to meet boys...and my girlfriends would always be so frustrated with me, because they'd spend hours getting ready and I'd go out in my sweats. My excuse was always that if a guy liked me looking like that, they would sure as hell like me looking like them. It appears that approach worked for me. On the RARE occasion that I actually go out, I might wear some heels, and straighten my hair (which is straight already...it just keeps the frizz down). I don't own an ounce of makeup and if I did, I wouldn't know how to use it. I got contacts to make my life easier, not to make myself look better. I get my nails done (never fake ones) as a social act, not to maintain a certain look...and I'll leave the polish on until it all flakes away. I get my eyebrows and my lip waxed, because, well...okay, because I'm self-conscious about that one (I'm allowed to have one!!). But, I'll go months and months between each waxing. I'd rather save the money I would normally spend on all that and spend the time with my husband or reading a good book. (This is where it stopped saving before...I'm gonna have to wing it...) I also remember the days when we all used to fill out those silly email surveys (they can now be taken on Facebook as well). The one question that always stuck out to me was "who has never betrayed you?" Without fail, my "friends" always wrote my name as their answer. And if I remember correctly, I never really could find an answer. So tell me...why is it that I was always YOUR answer, but you could never be mine? Nice guys do, in fact, finish last.
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