I'm not really feeling this as much as I'd like to be tonight, so forgive me if it's poorly written. I've got a lot on my mind (getting married in five weeks...YIKES!!!) and I'm just not feeling great. I know that I shouldn't be, but everyday I'm surprised at people. I'm just kind of tired of hearing people constantly doubting our government (and everything else). I've said before I'm not a "take my word for it" kind of girl, but to request to see pictures of someone's death is extremely morbid and really over the top...and also, who takes pictures of that???? It's just wrong and weird on so many levels. I needed to get that little rant out, in light of recent happenings.
But, I've got to get back to my original intent, which is to share my findings during my reading of the Bible. I've got a ton of questions, but I'll admit, most of my learning has come from other people. As soon as you tell people you're reading the Bible, they want to talk about it (or maybe that's just the people I hang out with). Everyone wants to know my views and my opinions, and for the most part, people have been really helpful in trying to get me to understand what I'm reading.
I've just started reading "Exodus," the second book of the Old Testament. I'm only ten pages into it, but I have some pretty major questions already. I'm sure most people know (or maybe they don't, 'cause I didn't) that Exodus is about Moses. I somehow lost track of what happened and why the Pharoah is holding all of the Egyptians hostage, but I don't think that's as important as the rest of what's going on. Moses was sent to the Pharaoh by God, to convince him to let the people go. I found it really interesting that even Moses questioned why the people should believe that what he said was coming from God. Even back then, God's existence was doubted. So, God tells Moses that he'll "prove" his existence by doing, what can only be described as magic tricks. The Pharoah even calls out his own magicians to match the "tricks" that God is doing, which include, so far; turning their rods to serpents (sounds dirty, but it's not...); turning all of the water to blood; a hailstorm of frogs (weird); a fly infestation; killing all of the cattle and an actual hailstorm resulting in ruined crops and dead trees and animals. I'll start with my smaller question before I get to the biggest one. Why, if God is trying to prove his existence to just the Pharaoh, is he bestowing all these wraths on everyone? It's not the people of Egypt that are questioning Him, it's the Pharaoh. Why is it okay for God to punish all of these people, (essentially killing them all, because you can't drink water when it's made of blood, and they can't eat when all their crops and cattle are dead) because one person doesn't believe? That kinda scares me for the rest of the world. That question can kind of answer itself, I guess, because I've spoken to enough religious people to know what kind of answers to expect: "God works in mysterious ways;" "God punishes us through those that are important to us;" etc. So, fine, I guess I'll go with one of those answers. But, here's my major issue: Why hasn't any of this stuff happened to me?? God's going through all this trouble to prove that he exists and that what Moses says is actually coming from him...so far, he's rewarded many that have trusted his word and done what he's told them to and he's punished even more for going against his word. Well, I don't believe in Him...never really did...and yet, nothing weird or unexplainable has ever happened to me. Sure, I've lost loved ones (lots of them actually...in the same year...), but I've never seen an inanimate object suddenly come to life, I've never been infested with reptiles or rodents or insects...you get the picture. Even as I'm writing this...why isn't anything weird happening? Why isn't God proving to me that He really does exist?? In fact, why isn't He doing it to everyone? There are people that follow God and trust in Him and live their lives according to what He "supposedly" says...and yet, in my experience those are the ones that have the most misfortune. I doubt His existence every single day and my life is pretty damn good. I've got great parents, a great family, got a good education, landed a great job, owned a house before my 24th birthday and am marrying my high school sweetheart. Never strayed from that path. Now, am I supposed to be thanking God for all that? Okay, my parents believe in Him (well, my mom and dad do...my step-dad is a different story), but they're divorced...isn't that against God? Shouldn't someone have been punished somewhere??? Maybe it's because I live a good, clean life? I've never been drunk, high or pregnant (true story about not being drunk...); I've barely done anything questionable in my life. Is that why God won't prove himself to me? Because, I'm unintentionally living the way he would want me to? But I'm shacking up with a guy I'm not married to...that's against His word, right? (Someone, I forget his name was already killed in the Bible for sleeping with a girl, whose name I also forget, he wasn't married to) That's kind of another thing...so far, it's been implied that having sex with someone makes them your wife. It's just been worded in a way that was "and he knew her and she became his wife." Then, this one girl has sex with a guy, and for some reason, doesn't become his wife and when he goes to ask for her hand in marriage, he's killed by her brothers. When did the rules change??
I think this is the part I usually start offending people...my over-use of the question mark, I think makes people think I'm shouting or pointedly asking questions. I'm genuinely trying to understand what is going on and also kind of trying to get people to realize that a book that was supposedly written over 2,000 years ago has no basis in the current world. Someone told me that the New Testament was written after it was decided that the Old Testament didn't really have much basis in reality anymore...isn't that sort of admitting that these are just stories made up as the times change? So, isn't it time to write a new book of "guidelines" for modern times? To be honest, I'm not really seeing anything in here that's worth living your life by, anyway. I get how it's very clearly instilling the fear of God in people, but it's also implying that it's okay to kill someone for having sex with someone they're not married to...it's okay to marry more than one person (which is a matter of opinion, if you ask me), it's okay to procreate with someone you're related to in order to keep the bloodline going. I just honestly can't understand it all. There's no consequences for these people. Maybe I just haven't gotten to that part yet...
No comments:
Post a Comment