Well, here we go again. I might be getting addicted to this. This time I'm going to be talking about something that's been bothering me all week. It was hashed out on my Facebook page (as most things are before they make it here) earlier in the week, and to answer all your questions, no, I can't just let things go. It's been on my mind and it's been bothering me and I never feel better until I vent about it somewhere. This time, I'm going to be talking about statutory rape laws. This article is what started it: http://www.news4jax.com/news/27702820/detail.html. I hate to post it here and make it more public then it already is, but like a good journalist (cause ya know...that's what I am), I feel the need to site my sources. The article is about a 25-year-old track coach who was having a consentual sexual relationship with one of his 16-year-old students. Now, instantly everyone thinks he's a pervert and a dirtbag, or whatever else you want to call him. I say differently. And here's why:
1) It was consentual. There's not much more explaining to do here. The girl consented to it, he did not "take advantage" of her.
2) In my eyes (and the eyes of many others) 16 years old is old enough to make the decision of who you can and cannot have sex with. I would venture to say that most people were already having sex by the time they were that age and also to say that most of them (at one point or another) were having sex with someone that was over the age of 18. Obviously, there are exceptions, but it seems like a pretty easy and safe assumption to make to assume that in high school, people generally date out of their grade. A junior is generally about 16 or 17 years old and a senior is around 17 or 18..."technically" a young junior and an older senior would not be legally allowed to have sex.
3) The girl herself is not complaining about the situation. Her parents are. I do not think it is fair or appropriate for someone to claim rape on someone else's behalf...not unless they are physically incapable of making the claim themselves.
4) If this was some random guy off the street and not this girl's track coach, we would not only have never heard about it, but her parents probably would not have even made a legal issue out of it.
Now, I am not saying that he did nothing wrong. As a teacher, and a person of authority, he should have known that this was not right and that it would not go over well. However, as a human being, I see nothing wrong with the situation. Who are we to say that these two weren't genuinely in love? I met and fell in love with my fiance at sixteen years old. It happens everyday. In fact, teachers sleeping with students also happens every day (http://badbadteacher.com/). Again, that doesn't make it right, but it also doesn't make him some psycho pedophile. The age of consent has changed dramatically throughout history, at one point being as young as seven years old (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_consent). At this point in history, society and the law tells us that if you are over the age of 18, it is not okay to sleep with someone younger than that (or close to that). This has been drilled into our brains to such an extreme that should a situation arise, clearly, we immediately jump to the girl's defense (or whoever the younger party is...usually female). The male (again, or whoever the older party is) is always accused of "taking advantage." How do we know that she's not taking advantage of him? Sixteen-year-old girls aren't capable of manipulating an older man into bed with her so that she can get him fired from his job? That's really so hard to believe? Now, I'm not saying that's the case here, but I would guarantee, without a doubt, it has happened at least once in recent history. What if the legal age of consent was fourteen? This relationship would be 100% legal and again, we would have never heard about it. Because the law says so, this man's life is ruined. Even if the charges are dropped or he is aquitted, his life is forever ruined. The news is out there and everyone knows what he did. It doesn't matter that it was a consentual relationship. It doesn't matter that this girl wanted it as much as he did. None of that matters, because the LAW says it's not okay. Who are they to tell us who we can and can't have sex with? How many of the people judging this man have gotten into a car after a night of drinking, knowing they shouldn't drive home? You claim you're fine and you drive home anyway. Just because you didn't get caught, or no one got hurt doesn't mean it's not illegal. But, in some cases, it's not so bad, right? Because you're not that drunk. It's still illegal and if you ask me, you should be charged with attempted murder, because that is far more dangerous that sleeping with a minor...because you're endangering every single person on the road that night, including yourself. But, people charged with a DUI sometimes only get a slap on the wrist, maybe community service...if a repeat offender, you might get a weekend in jail or mandatory rehab. The time doesn't match the crime on that one. But, this guy, who had sex with his girlfriend (who happened to be underage) is probably going to go to jail for several years, just because her parents didn't approve. Here's a perfect example: Bo Derek (we all know her, right?) met her husband when she was just starting out. She was 16...he was 46. Disgusting, right? They moved to Germany to avoid him being charged with statutory rape and after her 18th birthday, they moved back to the US to be married. They were married for 22 years, until he died. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bo_Derek) What's funny is that no one really knows about that. I certainly didn't. Since they were happily married for so long, no one questioned their relationship did they? They were smart (and rich) enough to move to a country where their relationship was legal, and because of that they got away with it and lived happily ever after. We don't all have that luxury, and unforunately we pay for the consequences. Personally, I would be a hell of a lot more concerned about a 16-year-old fleeing the country with a man 30 years older than her, than I would be worried about a 16-year-old having a month-long relationship with her track coach. People are so quick to judge based on what the law and the media tells us we're supposed to think. Try looking at it from outside the situation.
I will reiterate that I do not think it is right for a teacher, or authority figure to date a student, and on that fact alone, he made a very poor choice. He should have been fired from his job, stripped of his teaching certificate and carried on with his life. Personally, I feel sorry for both of them. I hope both parties can find a way to bounce back from this and carry on with their lives.
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