I'll admit that this post is probably my most petty, but between being attacked on Facebook and being passed over for a promotion (for the third time) I'm angrier than I should be. First and foremost, I just want people to understand me. It seems that most people believe I get into Facebook fights and get angry when I'm disagreed with. This isn't true. I do not mind, in the least, being disagreed with. I welcome a friendly debate. Being as it's hard to show emotion via Facebook post, I feel my arguments are always seen as angry, instead of informative. I try hard to keep my arguments calm and rational and I definitely don't get personal. But, others do. And it's the personal attacks that irritate me. There's a distinct different between a debate and a fight. What I do is debate. As soon as someone else makes it personal, it becomes a fight. After implying something about my logic (which is still unclear), this person then proceeded to tell me to stop posting "one-sided opinions" on Facebook. Opinions are one-sided; otherwise, they'd be called facts. So, nice attempt at an insult, but failure on their part. That being said, I realize my opinions sometimes hit a nerve with people. As far as I can tell, most people agree with what I post, or they don't comment at all. Apparently I'm wrong about that as well and I've been observed more or less throwing temper tantrums when I'm disagreed with. It's obviously natural to defend your point of view and I will apologize if I come off as angry or judgmental, as that's never my intention. That being said, I get caught up in it far too often. I started an argument (debate, if you will) just yesterday on someone else's Facebook wall. I was more annoyed than I should have been, but basically calm, until it was dragged to someone else's wall and I became the butt of everyone's jokes. I know I'm better than this and as annoyed as I was at the conversation, I was more annoyed with myself for starting it in the first place. I should have turned the other cheek and went on my merry way. Especially when the discussion was about as something as stupid as Valentine's Day. I'd like to take this time, though, to clear up some misunderstandings.
The debate got started when I noticed too many people posting about how Valentine's Day is a stupid holiday and it's just like any other day. One person in particular posted one too many posts about it and it set me off. I can't understand what the big deal is if people want to celebrate a particular holiday. If you truly feel that it's just a "regular day," then why do you feel the need to make that comment in the first place? If it was a normal Tuesday, would you have posted "Happy Tuesday?" or "Happy Regular Day?" Most definitely not. So, by posting it in the first place, you are admitting that you don't think of it as a regular day. If that's how you see it, then treat it as any other day on the calendar and don't say anything at all. Why is it necessary to make those that celebrate it feel silly for doing so? Why is that fair? What right do you have to tell someone that they shouldn't celebrate a holiday that they believe in? I've heard a lot of arguments about why it's a stupid holiday and I understand where they come from. But, I'm concerned about the world we're living in when people can't let others celebrate a day dedicated to love. It's not a religious holiday and it's not hurting anyone by celebrating it or not. My favorite argument is "I show my significant other every day that I love them. I don't need a day on the calendar to tell me to do so." Well, good for you!! You should show your significant other that you love them every day. It's not that Valentine's Day is the only day you should show them, but it's the day that you always should. I'm not sure where the idea came from that it's designated as the one day to show your love. That's ridiculous. For me, it's that day to take it that little extra step. It's the day to do something a little extra special and hold them a little tighter. Do I feel obligated to? No. Do I make a big deal out of it? No. Do I expect something? Definitely not. Is it nice anyway? Absolutely! What about Mother's Day and Father's Day? Shouldn't your mother and father be appreciated every day? There's a day set aside for each one of our parents, to show them we appreciate them a little bit extra that day. Somehow, I never hear anyone complain about how those are stupid, made up holidays. Would flowers mean more to your mother on a random day of the year? Probably. But, would you feel like a dick if you didn't get her something for Mother's Day? Definitely! So, why don't you feel like a dick when you don't get your significant other something for Valentine's Day? Why is it okay to celebrate our mothers and fathers, but not our loves? Aside from that, who said Valentine's Day is only for couples? Why can't you send a valentine to you mother, or your father, or your best friend? Or just someone who seems a little lonely? Why does it have to be about being "in love?" It should just be a day to spread love.
Another favorite argument is that it's a madeup holiday designed for companies to make money. News flash: EVERY SINGLE HOLIDAY ever, was made up. They all started somewhere. They all have their story. Christmas is as commercialized as they come. It's supposed to be a day to celebrate the birth of Christ, when many believe He wasn't born until the spring anyway. Somehow, that's not what it's about anymore. It's not even a religious holiday anymore. It's about stressing out over what to get people. It's about buying things for people we don't even like most of the time. It's about trying to out-do each other and making sure you got that person the best gift. It's about stress and bills and a whole lot of insanity. We shop for months, then pay off the bills for months before we have to do it all over again. If you think that Valentine's Day is stupid and that you shouldn't need a certain day to show someone you care, then why bother with Christmas? Or birthdays? Why indulge this person, ever? Just pick a random day during the year and do something nice for them. Ignore their birthday and blow off all other holidays. If you're going to protest, do it the right way! If you believe it shouldn't be about doing it because "you're supposed to," then don't do anything that you're "supposed to" do. Show them every single day and make sure that there isn't a single day that they feel more special than any of the others. It's one day. One day to indulge each other and to celebrate the love you have for each other. How in the world could that possibly be a bad thing? Someone actually told me that they found Valentine's Day offensive, because it was receiving something because society told them they were supposed to. Yet, that same night, they were given a Valentine's Day gift and did not protest; did not take offense. They accepted it graciously. Hypocritical much?
Another favorite is the implication that my relationship is somehow not a good one, because I feel special if I receive something on Valentine's Day. The implication that Ryan is doing a shitty job the rest of the year if I feel so special for receiving something on that particular day. My biggest issue with that is the fact that this person felt the need to tear someone down that was feeling special. Someone was happy and excited about something they received from someone they love and this person needed to tell them that they're relationship must not be that good if that were the case. How dare you? How dare you make such an assumption about a relationship that you know nothing about. Maybe that person's significant other wanted to do something nice for them. Maybe they wanted to send them flowers, or buy them chocolates or get them a nice card expressing their love. Maybe they wanted them to feel special. Maybe they didn't want them to be the only person without something. Ryan and I celebrate Valentine's Day in our own way, but we certainly don't make a big deal out of it. However, I would be offended if he completely ignored the holiday's existence. As I mentioned earlier, this person said they find the holiday offensive. I personally, would find it offensive if Ryan ignored the only day of the year intended to celebrate our love for each other. Knowing that day was coming up, knowing what it represented to me, knowing how I felt about it and what it means, and then not doing a single thing for me? Completely ignoring it and pretending it doesn't exist? It's a day about love and we're in love. To not even hear "Happy Valentine's Day," would speak volumes about how he felt about our relationship. If you're in a relationship and find the holiday stupid and meaningless, then I think that you're probably the one with the problem and not the people that celebrate it. Again I say, I show Ryan every single day, in small ways how much I love him. But, the idea of a day designated for proving it by taking that extra step is the best thing I can think of. A day for us to ignore the rest of the world and just be together and appreciate each other. It's a day for love and I'm in love, so why in the world would I not celebrate that love? And if you're one of those people that feels so depressed because you don't have someone to spend the day with, then you have self esteem issues that being in a relationship won't fix.
What kind of a world do we live in where people are okay criticizing those that choose to celebrate a holiday based on love? Because that's what it is. A choice. No one is forcing you to celebrate it, or not celebrate it. It's a choice. And a perfectly harmless one. And for those that say it's just an ordinary day, here is my response: When you're in love, there is no such thing as an "ordinary day." Just knowing that person exists makes every day extraordinary. And that is what I celebrate on Valentine's Day.
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