Never was I more inspired to write than when I was on my honeymoon. So, I started a journal of everything we did while we were in Jamaica. First, though, I need to start with the wedding day. The rest will come in a series of posts (complete with pictures, if I can figure it out). I wrote down what happened that day as I remembered it a few days into the honeymoon, but now that I'm sitting down and actually typing it out, I remember more than I thought I would.
The day before, I was out about noon getting my nails done with the bridal party. I knew Ryan was going to get his done as well with his brother-in-law (sounds silly, but he's a mechanic...he needed it desperately). So, I asked him if he would be home when I returned and he said that he "should be." I got home around 5pm, which was much later than I expected and he wasn't there. After he returned my call, he told me that he had just gotten done getting his nails done and his hair cut with Anthony (brother-in-law) and I asked if he would be home soon. He said, no because they were meeting up with Mike (sister's boyfriend) to "hang out." Umm....it's the night before our wedding...you had TWO bachelor parties. You should be home with me. This is what I told him as I desperately tried not to flip out. It didn't take much to get him to see my way, thankfully (there was other drama going on that was causing me to be more upset about it than I probably should have been). So, he came home and we went out to dinner. We had decided to keep ONE thing traditional and not spend the night together before the wedding. So, after dinner, he dropped me off at my mom's house and THEN he went out with Anthony and Mike (and some others, I believe). I slept on the couch at my mom's, even though there's a spare bedroom, because I need the TV to sleep and there wasn't one in the bedroom. She had the cats locked in the laundry room starting that night to keep their hair off the furniture for when everyone arrived the next day. I didn't sleep well to begin with...probably a combination of nerves and not being in my own bed and missing Ryan, and the cats scratching at the door to be let out finally woke me up for good around 6am. I gave up trying to fall back to sleep and got in the shower. I was overwhelmed with fatigue after that and laid down for about another 30 minutes before I heard my mom call me. So, we hung out in her room for a little while and it started to rain. It was gloomy out all day and we were hoping that we would not have to make our outdoor ceremony an indoor one. I spent the morning knowing I SHOULD eat, but not knowing WHAT to eat. I have a fairly sensitive stomach and it's even worse in the morning, so I was afraid to eat anything. Heidi arrived at about 9:15 for hair (no one else had arrived yet) and we hung our for a little bit. Then, slowly everyone trickled in, including Dana to do our makeup. I munched on a plain, dry bagel, assuming (correctly) that it was the only choice that wouldn't upset my stomach, while everyone got their hair and makeup done. I was last in line for both. Kelly (my new sister-in-law) provided mimosas for everyone and it was a good time just hanging out. The hair and makeup lasted until about 2pm, between all the girls and my mom. During that time, the flowers arrived and I just remember thinking how beautiful they were and how they were so much better than I had pictured. I went with yellow roses for mine (my favorite) and the girls carried deep blue hydrangeas with yellow calla lillies mixed in. Gorgeous!! My step-sister came by around 1:30 with my niece and nephew, so we could get some professional pictures with them (they were not invited to the wedding...way too young). Around that time, I started getting my dress on. I was waiting until the last minute, because I wanted to make sure I went to the bathroom as little as possible while it was on (not an easy task with a big dress). The photographers arrived while I was in the process of putting the dress on, which took about 3 people to assist with. We were discussing all day whether I should pull the dress up or over...and we had to go with over, because of all the layers that were underneath. It would never fit over it. But, we were afraid of lifting it over my head, since my hair and makeup were already done...including the tiara that was already on my head. We managed to successfully pull it over my head with no damage, though. The photographers got some nice shots of me getting ready...mostly posed. Then, we went downstairs where they got shots of me with the girls and my parents and a lot of me by myself. And lots of me with my niece and nephew. Everyone loved them!! They were so cute and Leigh wanted my tiara soooo badly! Love those kids! <3
They were there for less than an hour, then headed over to the country club to shoot the guys there. I can't wait to see those pictures!! :) The limo arrived around 3. Such an awesome limo! It was a Charger and the inside had a full bar, a TV, etc. The limo driver was great!!! He held up my dress the whole time I was outside hanging out with girls (Rachel and Jill got in the limo almost as soon as it arrived and stayed there pretty much until we left...they had a good time!) and he had everything I needed on hand. I was amazingly calm all day (even the weeks leading up to it), but as soon as that dress went on I started feeling like I was going to vomit. The driver gave me a bottle of water to calm me down a little bit and it helped a little. By this time, it wasn't raining anymore, but it was still a little gloomy out. It was hard to make the call whether to have it outside or not, but I decided to let Westover decide. We left the house about 3:30 to arrive at 3:45. The weather was perfect. Not too hot and definitely not raining, so we were going to have our outdoor wedding!!! The first half of the drive over, I was having a good time, laughing and chatting with the girls and my parents. Then, suddenly it was overwhelming. I believe at one point I said "I'm either going to shit my pants or throw up." HA!! Thankfully, neither of those happened, but I was definitely having a moment. It was the first time I really had time to think about what was going on. We arrived at Westover about 3:45 for the 4pm ceremony and we could see many of the guests still arriving. Groups of family members were chatting in the parking lot, Ryan's parents were hanging out by the entrance. I saw some faces I didn't recoginize, and Ryan's sisters were able to fill me in on who they were. The limo driver blocked the limo door for me, so that no one could open it up and ruin the surprise (he asked me if I wanted to be hidden from just Ryan or from everyone). We could see Ryan's uncle with the video camera desperately trying to get the coveted shot, but to no avail (sorry Uncle Gary!!). Finally, at about 4:05, they let the parents out of the limo, then the girls, then me. As soon as my feet hit the ground, I was instantly calm and I knew it was show time. I could see the guys from where I was standing, but not Ryan, so I had no idea how he was holding up. I remember thinking how badly I wanted to see his reaction to seeing me in my dress, but I missed it...because I was so excited about seeing my old college roommate in the crowd. Her face was the first one I saw as I started down the aisle with my step-dad (I wonder how many people heard me say "Meggles!!!"). Then, at the halfway point, I was handed off to my dad, who handed me off to Ryan and our ceremony was underway. The weeks leading up to the wedding I was convinced I would cry and stated that if Ryan cried, all bets were off and I'd be a mess. I somehow managed NOT to cry...however, Ryan DID!! I didn't notice it right away, but standing at the altar, I heard him sniffling. Then, I saw him wipe his eyes and I remember whispering "you're killing me." Haha! It was great!
The ceremony was short and sweet, but there was enough time for me to realize that I didn't like the "altar" flowers at all and to notice that the bridesmaids were not even remotely standing in a straight line. Lol!! Those unintentional looks got caught on video too...priceless! I was told that the ceremony was about 25 minutes long, but it definitely didn't feel like it!! We both stumbled on our vows a little bit, the guests got some good laughs out of the super personalized ceremony and it was overall a good time. We did pictures outside on the golf course while the guests enjoyed the cocktail hour (with our own personal waiter and waitress bringing us food and drink). That was fun, but frustrating, because I wanted to mingle with the guests. We finished with a little time to spare before the reception started. I had a piece of chicken, then headed for the bathroom with Kara, Rachel and my mom to start the process of bustling my dress, spilling my soda down the front of my dress TWICE on the way. Thirteen bustles in all!!! That was an ordeal. By the time that was over, the reception was getting started. The bridal party and our parents walked out to Pink's "Raise Your Glass," then Ryan and I walked out to Outkast's "Hey Ya." We weren't sure how long we were supposed to go with that, so we just kept dancing. Haha!! Finally, the DJ cut it and we went into our first dance, which was Boys Like Girls' "Two is Better Than One." We had a hell of a time agreeing on a song, but we both agree it was perfect. We managed to find a song that we BOTH liked. After that was the speeches from the best man and maid of honor. Best wedding speeches EVER!!! Jared's got Ryan choked up and made everyone laugh and Kara's had the right mix of high school humiliation and sincerity. We then went into the soup (italian wedding or escarole soup), then I danced with my dad to Leeann Womack's "I Hope You Dance." They took my soup while I was dancing!! I was annoyed..haha! Then, caesar salad, then Ryan danced with his mom to Taylor Swift's "Never Grow Up." Then, we had the main course, which was either poached salmon rf capon nicoli (stuffed chicken). Ryan and I both had the chicken and I ate three bites before I couldn't fit anything else into my dress. HA!! Two tables into making our rounds, we were called over for the cake cutting. We had decided beforehand that were going to go pretty hard on each other, but at the last minute it was "well, I have to return my tux" and "don't mess up my dress." So, we started off nice and then smashed!!! Apparently I went harder on him, but either way it was a good time. After that, we finished our rounds and the party started. It was a great time. I was told repeatedly how amazing I looked (and I FELT amazing) and how perfect my dress was (agreed...obsessed!!!) and also how great of a job I did at planning. All the details were perfect. The rain finally gave us the break we've never gotten, the girls were gorgeous, the guys looked great, Ryan and I were so happy and had so much fun and it's crazy that it's over already!! Since we only had all the professionals until 9:30 we had decided to have an after party at my mom's. Ryan and I went home to change, and there were already a lot of people there when we got there! The party lasted there until about 1am and I hate to say I was insanely irritable by then. I was working on my 19th hour of being awake at that point and everyone was drunk and yelling and it was loud. I just wanted to go to bed!! Alas, that finally happened and we opened some gifts on Sunday, figured out where all our stuff had been left and finished packing for the honeymoon. What a fantastic day!!! I wish I could do it all again!!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Thoughts on Marriage
Well, it's been quite a while since I've had the chance to write anything. I've been busy with wedding planning and I was sick for a week. I realize it's important to keep people interested, though, so I figured I better write something soon before people forget I exist. Ha!!
This one might be kind of boring, but I hope you'll read it anyway. I'm getting married in nine days as most of you probably know and obviously it's got me thinking about things. Ryan and I have been together nine years and I've been talking about marriage for at least five or six of them. There was always some excuse he had for not wanting to get married yet. First I needed to finish school; then I needed to find a job; then he wanted to buy a house. Then I'm not sure what his problem was, but he didn't propose until a year and a half after we bought the house. And now it's ten months later and the wedding is literally around the corner. I obsessed over this happening for so many years and then when it did I was so unprepared. He expected to find a whole journal full of my wedding plans, when in fact, all I had was a rough guest list. I had had a date picked out...and that date came and went with nothing, so I gave up trying to plan anything. I guess I always knew he'd get there when he was good and ready. At this point I believe the issue was financial (I wish he would have just told me that), because almost immediately after we got our homebuyers credit, he proposed. Planning a wedding has not been what I expected. People always told me it was stressful and that everyone was going to have an opinion, etc. But, stupidly, I assumed that wouldn't happen with me. I gave the people in my life too much credit, apparently. I promised myself early on that I wouldn't get stressed out and to be honest, if it wasn't for the rest of life getting in the way, I probably would have done okay with that. When I had my water heater break, my bathtub leak and a $300 cell phone bill in the same week, I went a little nuts. But, I've honestly had people complain, or share an unwanted opinion about everything from the venue to the kind of music we're playing; the tuxes we chose to how I'm wearing my hair and what jewelry I'll be wearing. It's insane!!! And, naturally, there's been a little bit of drama amongst the bridesmaids (females...ugh!) and a LOT of drama between the parents (I won't say which ones, but those close to the situation know). I've had days of unbelievable sadness where I thought getting engaged was the worst thing that ever happened to me and other days when I still can't believe this is really happening. I think we all knew Ryan and I would end up married some day. From day one, things were different. It's funny to look back on how we got started in high school, because it was SO high school. I made the first move by giving him my phone number...and when he didn't call, I called him. Then I asked him to the prom and when he didn't answer for three months I told him I had another date lined up (he finally agreed to go). We fell in love quickly and I do believe he fell harder than I did at first. We kept it realistic though and we actually often talked about what would happen "when" we broke up. I remember him asking me once how we could break up and still be best friends...which sounds like a crappy question, but looking back it was really kind of sweet. He cared about me enough to want to still be my best friend. I believe my answer was that we couldn't. Haha! I'm glad we never had to find out. We stayed together when I went away to college, which was only for two years and only a half hour away. And I will admit that having him in my life was a major contributing factor to which school I chose. To be honest, during those two years, I wasn't sure we'd make it. Even my old roommate used to come into my room sometimes after a particularly loud argument with Ryan and tell me that she thought we were going to break up. It was tough. But, there was obviously SOME reason why we chose to always work it out. We just knew it was worth it. I've told him from the beginning "someday we'll have it all." And by "all," I always meant good jobs, a nice house and a happy family. Those things are obviously still our goals, but at this point, I feel like we already have it "all." From an outside perspective, I'm sure our relationship seems insanely dysfunctional. I have some days when I wish we were nicer to each other, but I've had a lot of people recently tell me how cute we are together, which still strikes me as funny. This relationship is so easy now. We know what to expect from each other. We know each others' quirks and our strenghts and weaknesses. I had someone tell me that it was like we were still in the honeymoon phase, which absolutely cracked me up, because I was sure we'd never even GOTTEN to the honeymoon phase. But, we did...recently. It took us over eight years to get there, but here we are, happier than ever. Not to toot my own horn, but I do believe we're one of the happiest couples I've ever seen. I can't remember the last time we had a legitimate fight. We annoy each other on a daily basis and we excel at shouting at each other, but it's literally just what we do. It's part of our gag. Am I still annoyed that he's got an endless supply of car parts collecting dust in our garage? Am I still annoyed that he hasn't cleaned up his popsicle sticks and Hawaiian punch glass (true story...I'm staring at it now...)? Yes! Is it more fun to yell about it than it is actually annoying? Definitely. And he knows that. He also knows when it's gotten to the point where I'm seriously pissed off about it and he needs to do something about it. People always say that marriage is hard work and I once heard someone say that anyone that says that is not happily married. I tend to agree with that person. This relationship is easy. Obviously there are days I want to rip his eyes out and feed them to him and I'm sure he has those days with me as well, but there is not a single part of me that thinks this marriage will be difficult. I don't see anything changing from the way things are right now. I hate the people that say "oh, everything changes when you're married. Suddenly you can't do this, this, this, etc..." Really??? Who are you married to and why do they suck?? Why would I suddenly stop allowing him to do things? What right do I have to do that?? This relationship works because we respect each other and we love each other and we give each other space, but at the same time literally cannot function with out the other person. If that changes, the relationship fails. The minute one of us tells the other one that they can't do something, we're going to have a problem. Back in the early days, it was definitely like that with some things. His drinking drove me crazy, most of his friends drove me crazy, his video games drove me crazy, his cars drove me crazy...come to think of it, what the hell did I even like about him??? Haha!! But, without a doubt, we both grew up. I've accepted more of his annoyances and he's toned them down a lot to accomodate for me, as I'm sure is true the other way around. Some of it comes from maturity, some of it comes from respect...but all of it comes from love. I remember my biggest fear moving in together was that I wouldn't be excited to see him anymore. We didn't see each other every single day until we lived together and I used to get so excited when I knew it was a day we were going to hang out. But, I can say, 100%, I cannot WAIT to get home from work everyday. To know that he is at home waiting for me, or that he is going to be coming home to me is just the most amazing feeling. To have something to look forward to that much every single day is more than I ever thought I'd have. I stupidly thought I was in love a few time in high school...I think I was more in love with the idea of being in love than with the actual person (though, I still hold them close to my heart), but this one is for real and this is forever. I used to hear about people getting divorced before and it was just like "oh well, whatever." But, now I honestly just can't wrap my mind around it. It pains me to think that that would ever even be possible. How could we go from being this insanely in love and this insanely happy to ever being miserable?? What could he or I possibly do to make us hate each other? We've been through so much up to this point that I just don't see anything else that could possibly break us. And it makes absolutely no sense, because we have zero in common. We hate each others music, we hate each others' TV shows, we have completely different sleeping habits; one of us is crazy about books and the other can barely read...you get the picture. So, I guess we're the classic example of opposites attracting, but there's one thing we've always had in common. And that's each other...the most insane, unexplainable, undeniable, irreplacable love for each other and I know without a shadow of doubt that this is exactly how it is supposed to be. I got it right at an early age. He makes me a better person and I know the same is true for him. We literally complete each other and I cannot wait to share his name and carry his children. The best, indeed, is yet to come...
This one might be kind of boring, but I hope you'll read it anyway. I'm getting married in nine days as most of you probably know and obviously it's got me thinking about things. Ryan and I have been together nine years and I've been talking about marriage for at least five or six of them. There was always some excuse he had for not wanting to get married yet. First I needed to finish school; then I needed to find a job; then he wanted to buy a house. Then I'm not sure what his problem was, but he didn't propose until a year and a half after we bought the house. And now it's ten months later and the wedding is literally around the corner. I obsessed over this happening for so many years and then when it did I was so unprepared. He expected to find a whole journal full of my wedding plans, when in fact, all I had was a rough guest list. I had had a date picked out...and that date came and went with nothing, so I gave up trying to plan anything. I guess I always knew he'd get there when he was good and ready. At this point I believe the issue was financial (I wish he would have just told me that), because almost immediately after we got our homebuyers credit, he proposed. Planning a wedding has not been what I expected. People always told me it was stressful and that everyone was going to have an opinion, etc. But, stupidly, I assumed that wouldn't happen with me. I gave the people in my life too much credit, apparently. I promised myself early on that I wouldn't get stressed out and to be honest, if it wasn't for the rest of life getting in the way, I probably would have done okay with that. When I had my water heater break, my bathtub leak and a $300 cell phone bill in the same week, I went a little nuts. But, I've honestly had people complain, or share an unwanted opinion about everything from the venue to the kind of music we're playing; the tuxes we chose to how I'm wearing my hair and what jewelry I'll be wearing. It's insane!!! And, naturally, there's been a little bit of drama amongst the bridesmaids (females...ugh!) and a LOT of drama between the parents (I won't say which ones, but those close to the situation know). I've had days of unbelievable sadness where I thought getting engaged was the worst thing that ever happened to me and other days when I still can't believe this is really happening. I think we all knew Ryan and I would end up married some day. From day one, things were different. It's funny to look back on how we got started in high school, because it was SO high school. I made the first move by giving him my phone number...and when he didn't call, I called him. Then I asked him to the prom and when he didn't answer for three months I told him I had another date lined up (he finally agreed to go). We fell in love quickly and I do believe he fell harder than I did at first. We kept it realistic though and we actually often talked about what would happen "when" we broke up. I remember him asking me once how we could break up and still be best friends...which sounds like a crappy question, but looking back it was really kind of sweet. He cared about me enough to want to still be my best friend. I believe my answer was that we couldn't. Haha! I'm glad we never had to find out. We stayed together when I went away to college, which was only for two years and only a half hour away. And I will admit that having him in my life was a major contributing factor to which school I chose. To be honest, during those two years, I wasn't sure we'd make it. Even my old roommate used to come into my room sometimes after a particularly loud argument with Ryan and tell me that she thought we were going to break up. It was tough. But, there was obviously SOME reason why we chose to always work it out. We just knew it was worth it. I've told him from the beginning "someday we'll have it all." And by "all," I always meant good jobs, a nice house and a happy family. Those things are obviously still our goals, but at this point, I feel like we already have it "all." From an outside perspective, I'm sure our relationship seems insanely dysfunctional. I have some days when I wish we were nicer to each other, but I've had a lot of people recently tell me how cute we are together, which still strikes me as funny. This relationship is so easy now. We know what to expect from each other. We know each others' quirks and our strenghts and weaknesses. I had someone tell me that it was like we were still in the honeymoon phase, which absolutely cracked me up, because I was sure we'd never even GOTTEN to the honeymoon phase. But, we did...recently. It took us over eight years to get there, but here we are, happier than ever. Not to toot my own horn, but I do believe we're one of the happiest couples I've ever seen. I can't remember the last time we had a legitimate fight. We annoy each other on a daily basis and we excel at shouting at each other, but it's literally just what we do. It's part of our gag. Am I still annoyed that he's got an endless supply of car parts collecting dust in our garage? Am I still annoyed that he hasn't cleaned up his popsicle sticks and Hawaiian punch glass (true story...I'm staring at it now...)? Yes! Is it more fun to yell about it than it is actually annoying? Definitely. And he knows that. He also knows when it's gotten to the point where I'm seriously pissed off about it and he needs to do something about it. People always say that marriage is hard work and I once heard someone say that anyone that says that is not happily married. I tend to agree with that person. This relationship is easy. Obviously there are days I want to rip his eyes out and feed them to him and I'm sure he has those days with me as well, but there is not a single part of me that thinks this marriage will be difficult. I don't see anything changing from the way things are right now. I hate the people that say "oh, everything changes when you're married. Suddenly you can't do this, this, this, etc..." Really??? Who are you married to and why do they suck?? Why would I suddenly stop allowing him to do things? What right do I have to do that?? This relationship works because we respect each other and we love each other and we give each other space, but at the same time literally cannot function with out the other person. If that changes, the relationship fails. The minute one of us tells the other one that they can't do something, we're going to have a problem. Back in the early days, it was definitely like that with some things. His drinking drove me crazy, most of his friends drove me crazy, his video games drove me crazy, his cars drove me crazy...come to think of it, what the hell did I even like about him??? Haha!! But, without a doubt, we both grew up. I've accepted more of his annoyances and he's toned them down a lot to accomodate for me, as I'm sure is true the other way around. Some of it comes from maturity, some of it comes from respect...but all of it comes from love. I remember my biggest fear moving in together was that I wouldn't be excited to see him anymore. We didn't see each other every single day until we lived together and I used to get so excited when I knew it was a day we were going to hang out. But, I can say, 100%, I cannot WAIT to get home from work everyday. To know that he is at home waiting for me, or that he is going to be coming home to me is just the most amazing feeling. To have something to look forward to that much every single day is more than I ever thought I'd have. I stupidly thought I was in love a few time in high school...I think I was more in love with the idea of being in love than with the actual person (though, I still hold them close to my heart), but this one is for real and this is forever. I used to hear about people getting divorced before and it was just like "oh well, whatever." But, now I honestly just can't wrap my mind around it. It pains me to think that that would ever even be possible. How could we go from being this insanely in love and this insanely happy to ever being miserable?? What could he or I possibly do to make us hate each other? We've been through so much up to this point that I just don't see anything else that could possibly break us. And it makes absolutely no sense, because we have zero in common. We hate each others music, we hate each others' TV shows, we have completely different sleeping habits; one of us is crazy about books and the other can barely read...you get the picture. So, I guess we're the classic example of opposites attracting, but there's one thing we've always had in common. And that's each other...the most insane, unexplainable, undeniable, irreplacable love for each other and I know without a shadow of doubt that this is exactly how it is supposed to be. I got it right at an early age. He makes me a better person and I know the same is true for him. We literally complete each other and I cannot wait to share his name and carry his children. The best, indeed, is yet to come...
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