I didn't really intend to start this yet, but it's in my head now and I've got to get it out. I used to be quite the writer, back in my high school days, but that's when I was miserable and had a lot to write about. I find it harder to write when I'm in a good place in my life, but it seems I have a lot to say, so I figured this is the best outlet. It's no fun writing it in my own journal where I'm the only one that gets to see it and my Facebook rants have proven to offend too many people. I'm the kind of person that questions everything. I take nothing at face value and I'm not the "take my word for it" kinda girl. Some would say I'm judgemental (I'll admit to that), others would say I'm negative (but not to that one), but I would definitely define myself as misunderstood. I have a lot of opinions (strong ones) and I don't often take the time to think about things before they come out of my mouth. So, yes, I often offend people without necessarily intending to. I'd like to believe I'm generally a good person and I'm definitely more accepting than most, but I'll admit I have a mean streak and you'll be lucky to get an apology.
One of the things that just baffles me and intrigues me the most is religion. I was raised Catholic (church on Sundays with my grandmother, made all the sacraments, etc), but I'm far from it now. My religious rants don't generally go over well, because it's something that just confuses me so much that I find it hard to put my feelings into respectable terms. I've doubted the teaching of Catholicism (and others) for several years, but I never actually read the Bible or any other religious manuscript. So, about a month ago, I decided to crack it open and give it a whirl. I thought this would help me to better understand the minds of those with a strong faith, but it would also help me to form better arguments when asked for my reasons. A close friend asked me what my views on death were and it was hard to answer because her grandmother had just passed away and she is very religious. So, I knew that she wanted to hear something great like, "well, I believe your soul lives on and we will all meet again in heaven someday." But, that's just not something I can wrap my mind around. I kindly tried to back out of the conversation, because I didn't want to offend her, but she wanted to hear what I had to say. I'm happy to say that she's great and she was very understanding and very open-minded and didn't judge me for my beliefs at all. She managed to answer some of my questions in ways that helped me better understand the way her mind works. And while I don't agree with the opinion, I understand the logic. I understand why people need to think that there's life after death...I get why it's easier to believe we'll see our loved ones again...I know why we need to think that everything happens for a reason and all of our tough times are just tests to see how strong we are, but it's not something I can get on board with. Yes, everything happens for a reason...a scientific reason. I believe that your life is made up of the choices you make and the choices that other people make. It's not laid out for you or pre-determined; there's no such thing as "destiny" or "fate." Life is what it is and our lives are open for us to do and be whatever we want.
In my recent readings of the first book of the Bible ("Genesis") I've come across so many things that not only made me pretty angry, but also left me with more questions than answers. I can't believe how much murder and incest and other crazy shenanigans are happening so early on in this book. It blows my mind and genuinely concerns me that people take this as truth. Unfortunately, I don't have the time to get into the details now, but I think I've given a pretty good example of what to expect from my blog. I won't hold back my opinions, but I'll try my hardest to word them in a way that doesn't offend. So, buckle your seatbelt and hang on, because I have a feeling you're in for a crazy ride (at least it feels that way in my head!). Thanks for coming along and enjoy!
No comments:
Post a Comment